Baking... and My Life

Flax Seed and Honey Muffins (and random bits of Africa)

2011-07-16T12:10:00.001-05:00

I have been awake since 5:15 a.m. My body is exhausted, so exhausted. But my mind is racing. I have been home for not quite 24 hours, and have been in the U.S. for about 48 hours. A week ago I was in Uganda, lovin' on the kiddos there. And now, here I am. At home, with my family, surrounded by my room and home and things that should seem familiar, but in an odd way seem unfamiliar.

I woke up this morning in my own bed, and my first thought was, "Africa!" I got out of bed and went to my computer, not to check my mail like I would've done a month ago.. but to look at the photos I took while in Uganda. The photos remind me of moments there, of stories, of experiences.

I want to tell stories to everyone I come in contact with. I want to tell them about the dirty and bumpy roads, about the craving for American food, about washing my teammates' hair in buckets, about peeing on cockroaches in the squatty potty. I want to tell them about the kids there, their shoeless feet, their ragged clothes, their incredible joy, their hugs. I want to talk about being called, "Muzungu!" by so many children, about how these kids were obsessed with our arm hair and pale skin.

I want to tell stories because telling the stories helps me feel a little bit closer to a place that is so far away now. I want to tell stories because, as each story is told, it reminds me of another one. I want to tell stories because I don't want to forget. Ever. I want to tell stories because telling stories keeps my love -for the children, people, and place- alive.

I didn't expect to fall in love with Africa. But I'm pretty sure that's exactly what happened.

One thing I thought about a lot while in Uganda was baking. Going without my Aid-Mixer for a month was a little bit harder than I had anticipated. I thought about baking chocolate chip cookies, or brownies, fruit pizza, or cheesecake. I was all about the sugar... and the chocolate.

But I got home, and chocolate brownies and cheesecake didn't sound all that appealing anymore. At first, nothing did. And that was not a problem I expected to have. But there I sat, looking through recipes and couldn't find anything I wanted to make. "Remember the desperation for chocolate? For sugar? For something not fried?" I don't want to forget that. I don't want to take my pantry and refrigerator for granted ever again. I have a wide option of foods, I don't ever want to hear myself say, "None of this looks good." ever again. Because just a week ago, I would've loved anything that wasn't rice or noodles or potatoes.

This morning, I baked for the first time in a month. I finally decided on making muffins-- healthy, not very sweet muffins. I walked into the kitchen, getting my ingredients out for flax seed and honey muffins. And I couldn't find the whole wheat flour. Or the honey. Dishes were in the wrong places. The cans of corn were where the cans of spaghetti sauce normally go. Terror struck for a brief second. I didn't know how to work in my own kitchen, it seemed unfamiliar.

But the feeling of measuring honey was familiar. The serenity that filled my heart felt like home. The smell of the flour was comforting. My kitchen in itself may not have felt familiar, but the baking process was. And to bite into a warm, soft muffin? Sweet and utter bliss.

(click 'read more' for recipe)
Honey and Flax Seed Muffins (slightly adapted from sugar crafter)

Ingredients:
1 1/4 C. all-purpose flour
1/2 C. rye flour
1/2 C. whole wheat pastry flour
1/3 C. flax seeds
1 Tbs. ground flax meal
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
2 Tbs. sugar
1/4 tsp. salt
2 eggs, lightly beaten
3/4 C. milk
1 stick butter, almost melted
1/3 C. honey

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray a muffin pan with non-stick spray, or line with baking papers.
2. In a medium bowl, mix first 9 ingredients together with a whisk. In a separate bowl, combine butter, milk, eggs, and honey together.
3. Gradually add the wet ingredients to the dry. Mix just until combined.
4. Spoon batter into muffin tins and bake 12-15 minutes, or until done.
5. Sprinkle with raw sugar when done, if desired. Let cool.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

2011-06-11T08:30:00.003-05:00

It will probably be no surprise when I tell you that I like to bake for people. I love leaving deliciously sweet treats for people to find. I've been known to leave desserts on desks, in mailboxes, on steps, even inside of cars. Everything from cupcakes to cookies to brownies to muffins. I like to think the sweet cookies and the cute card brighten the person's day, even if just a little bit. I imagine the look of excitement and surprise on the person's face when they find a box of treats left for them. I imagine a smile that spreads across their face as they bite into whatever was inside the box. I imagine the sweetness melting away what might've been a bad day, adding to what was a good day, or giving hope for the start of a lovely day.

Sometimes I stop to really think about it, and it seems rather silly. "People must think you are so dumb, leaving cookies here like this. This doesn't make much of a difference, you're just fooling yourself." And I become discouraged. I'm not saving starving orphans, I'm not making lunches for a soup kitchen, I'm not holding a dying baby. I'm leaving cookies on stairsteps. It seems incredibly insignificant compared to the 'big things' I could be doing.

I tend to believe that the only things that are meaningful are the big things-- living overseas in a third world country, adopting a baby, starting a soup kitchen, taking care of cancer patients. In my eyes, those are the meaningful things. Those are the things that count.

Those things are good, so good. But what happens is that, because I am not doing any of those things, I get discouraged. And then I do nothing. Or, perhaps it's more that there are meaningful, purpose-filled things that I do, but I'm blind to them. Or they're not 'good enough'. Or they pale in comparison to what someone else may be doing.

I spend my days waiting for the big moment.. and it never comes. And by waiting and looking for the 'big purpose-filled thing', I miss all the meaningful things around me. I become so centered on this idea of important and worthy that I fool myself into believing it must meet certain requirements. It must take this much work, and that much time, it must help this many people, and be that exhausting.

But those things are not true. I am learning that purpose is in everything. Purpose is in smiling at the sad looking stranger while walking the dog. Purpose is holding your tongue when the house is a complete wreck and you want to lose it and lash out at everyone. Purpose is telling a friend you'll pray for them, and actually doing it. Purpose is painting your little sister's fingernails when you'd rather be doing something else. Purpose is in everything.

It's not always going to be this big, mind blowingly huge event or moment or thing. Sometimes, it's easier to believe that it's more important to donate food to the food pantry, rather than be patient with your younger sister. But really, I am beginning to believe they are equal, that each moment is just as important as the one before it, and also the moment that will follow.

My desire is this: to have lived a purpose-filled, meaningful life. But I wonder, can I really find purpose and meaning in everything?

I believe that, so long as I lose my idea of what 'meaning' is, then yes, there is purpose to everything. Some days, it's donating to the food pantry. Some days, it's playing countless games of hi-ho-cherry-o with your sister. For some people, it's taking care of starving orphans. For others, it's being a mother and raising a family.

And so, I remember this. On the days where I feel purposeless. On the days where I feel like I'm not doing enough. And even on the days where I do feel like I did something meaningful.

And when I feel like a foolish, little child for surprising someone with cookies, I remind myself that purpose is in everything, and each matters just as much as the other. And I leave the cookies on the desk, whispering a prayer (of love, of blessing, of peace, of joy) for the person, and I smile as I walk out the door. Tomorrow I don't know about.. but today? That is what I was supposed to do.

I want to encourage you to find purpose in today, and to see the little moments as the most important ones. Also- I think you should make these chocolate chip cookies, because, although they take a while, they're worth the wait. The unusual blend of flours and the 24 hour refrigerate time probably has something to do with these cookies tasting better than the regular cookies on the back of the chocolate chip bag.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Chocolate Chip Cookies (slightly adapted from The New York Times)

Ingredients:
2 C. minus 2 Tbs. cake flour
1 2/3 C. bread flour
1 1/4 tsp. baking soda
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 tsp. coarse salt
2 1/2 sticks unsalted butter
1 C. granulated sugar
2 large eggs
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 1/4 lbs. bittersweet chocolate disks or fèves*

Directions:
1. Sift together flours, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into a bowl. Set aside.
2. Using a stand mixer (fitted with paddle attachment), cream butter and sugars until very light, about 5 minutes. Add eggs, one a time, beating well after each addition. Stir in the vanilla. Reduce speed to low and slowly add dry ingredients. Mix until just combined. Drop chocolate pieces into the dough and mix by hand. Press into plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 24 hours (or as long as 72 hours).
3. When ready to bake, preheat oven to 350 degrees.
4. Form dough into balls (about the size of a golf ball) and place on a baking sheet. Optional: sprinkle lightly with sea salt. Bake 18-20 minutes, or until golden brown.
5. Transfer to wire rack and repeat with remaining dough. Makes approximately 1 1/2 dozen cookies (depending on size).

* for the chocolate, I didn't have time to buy chocolate disks or fèves. Instead I used a little bit of chopped unsweetened chocolate (about 1 oz) and the rest used regular chocolate chips. Although the cookies still tasted good, they would've been a lot better had I of used better quality chocolate (kinda goes without saying).

Nutella-Filled Crepes

2011-05-25T13:55:00.003-05:00

I have been sitting at my computer, staring at a blank page for nearly 10 minutes. "Write something, just write something." this little voice in the back of my head urges. But, to put it simply, I don't really know what to write.

Do I tell you that my Africa trip is 3 weeks (exactly 21 days) away? Do I tell you about how this greatly excites me while also terrifies me? Do I tell you that I'm scared mostly because I do not know what to expect? Do I tell you that as each day passes, I get more and more anxious to hold babies, to hear children laughing, to tell them Bible stories? But that I also worry, what if I'm not good enough or smart enough or experienced enough to teach these kids?

Or maybe, maybe I should tell you about my teammates. How is it possible I have already grown to love and care for these girls, though we've never met in person? Perhaps I should tell you that in 21 days, I will be seeing them face-to-face after many months of facebook message and emails. I could tell you that I'm mostly thrilled, but a little worried. Will it be awkward? Will we run out of things to say? What if I am a disappointment to them?

I could write about the fact that my stress level is slowly but surely inclining. My first thought every morning? I need a detailed packing list. Do I pack an air mattress or a sleeping bag? Should I bring Mary Jane shoes or Keen sandals? Capris or skirts? The idea of packing is beginning to freak me out. I don't know what exactly to pack, I don't even know what to pack in. And I won't even think about how I'm going to remember absolutely everything I need to bring, that will surely lead to many tears.

Maybe you want to hear about how this trip has already been changing me. Maybe you'd like to hear about the situations where I've learned to let go and trust- the late nights, many tears, and complete peace. The worried thoughts I entertained for no reason. The things I have already learned. The way I already view things differently. The fact that I now have a new understanding of the words 'provision' and 'trust'.

If I told you that some days this trip doesn't seem real to me, would you call me crazy? Some days it's so real to me I get goosebumps. Other days, it's like a faraway dream, like something that I can only hope I'll one day do. Honestly, there are many days where I just can't believe I will be in Africa in less than a month. Does that make me crazy, unprepared, foolish?

If you've made it this far, you deserve a high-five (or a cookie). I realize this post is mostly just me whining, complaining, and voicing my numerous worries. And I apologize, that's probably not a fun post to read. However, if you can make it to the recipe (for nutella crepes) you won't be disappointed.

Rather exhausted of thinking and worrying, I made these nutella crepes this morning. Mostly because I wanted to do something enjoyable, something to get my mind off things, and because I had the morning off (a rarity). Nutella crepes have also been on my 'to make' list for quite some time now.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Nutella Crepes (adapted from allrecipes)

Ingredients:
for crepes
1 C. all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp. salt
1 Tbs. sugar
2 eggs
1/2 C. milk
1/2 C. water
2 Tbs. butter, melted
for filling
nutella
powdered sugar (for sprinkling)

Directions:
1. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together milk, water, eggs, and butter. In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, and salt. Add to milk-egg-water mixture, and whisk until smooth.
2. Heat a lightly oiled frying pan over medium-low heat. Using a 1/4 C. measuring cup, pour batter into hot pan. Tilt the pan in a circular motion so that the batter coats the surface evenly.
3. Cook the crepe for about 2 minutes, or until the bottom is light brown. Flip and cook the other side. Remove from pan. Repeat.
4. Once all the crepes are cooked, spread with nutella and roll up. Place (seam side down) on a baking sheet. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and put baking sheet in the oven. Cook just to warm the nutella, then remove from oven.
5. Sprinkle with powdered sugar and serve hot.

Beauty In Blackberry Almond Bars

2011-05-15T14:43:00.005-05:00

It's a Sunday afternoon in May, and it's cold and rainy outside. Rain puddles cover the ground as fat raindrops drip slowly from the roof and slide down my window. Looking out my window, all I see are mounds of dirt and very wet cement blocks scattered all around my neighbor's yard (this construction has been going on for far too long). I see absolutely nothing beautiful about this view from my window. I see absolutely nothing beautiful in this moment. I see nothing beautiful about this day. And, may I be so bold to say, I don't have much hope to see a beautiful week.

What have I seen this past week? A house that remains constantly messy. A kitchen sink always filled with dirty dishes (and no, I am not exaggerating). Piles of laundry that cover the basement floor, muddy footprints tracked through my freshly mopped kitchen floor, fingerprints covering every glass surface possible. It's frustrating, discouraging, and maddening.

I have seen too much fighting this week. Whether it be at my own home or a home I am babysitting in, with little babies or older ones who should know better. I have seen too much selfishness, heard too much yelling. There has been too little sharing, and kind words remain sparse. The fights, even the little ones, break my heart and they make me mad. Can't we all just get along?

The drilling going on next door, it has been constant. Monday through Friday (occasionally Saturdays as well). They hammer and they bang, they run their drills and their construction trucks. From 7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. there is a constant noise that surrounds my thoughts, and sometimes it gets to the point where I can no longer think. This house being built next to us, it's huge. Slowly it gets closer and closer to our house, one day the patio will be right outside our dining room window. The claustrophobic feeling of clutter is already starting to press in around me.

I think of this past week, and those are my initial thoughts. But there is a voice that whispers in the back of my mind, "Find the beauty." Yeah, ok. Beauty? I don't think so. But still, It presses, "I am good and I am holy. I have created every moment. I am good and holy. And all I create is good and beautiful. So yes, Anna, find the beauty. In this past week. And right now, in this moment."

I blind myself to the beauty in each moment by focusing on what I perceive as ugly. Yes, it is a choice to do that. And usually I am well aware of what I am choosing. "Ok, Lord," I say, "Show me the beauty." I look back out the window again... and everything looks the same. My frustration is growing. "I don't see it! I'm looking for the beauty, but I can't find it."

It takes a minute, but the beauty is in the rain. It still slides down my window, but it is not gloomy, depressing rain that annoyingly makes things wet and slippery. It is rain that nourishes, gives life. The beauty is in the flowers that are wet, small pretty circles of water left on their petals. Beauty is inside, in this house. Beauty is in the raspberry candle that burns on my desk, so warm and bright. Beauty is in the messy kitchen that will be cleaned this afternoon, the soap suds and warm water. Beauty is in the noise coming from downstairs- the piano bringing music to the house, the sound of friends playing. And beauty is in the girl whose knees are bent on wet pavement, taking pictures of the beautiful things she is thankful for.

The beauty is always all around me, I just need to look at it the right way. I don't always look for it, but it is always there. The beauty doesn't have to be in big things, happy things, or elaborate things. Beauty is in the simple, in the every day. Sometimes, I think beauty shines best in the ordinary.

It's silly isn't it? I see a simple thing like blackberry almond bars as beautiful. It seems child-like that photographing wet flowers fills me with joy. But isn't that what I want? To be like a child, to trust, to be satisfied with what I have, to not question or doubt, to find joy in everything? I have found beauty in today, and my ungratefulness is ebbing away as joy takes its place.

I want to find beauty in the rest of this week and watch the joy grow. Because joy can grow out of something silly and simple- even blackberry almond bars.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Blackberry Almond Bars (from 17 and Baking)

Ingredients:

1 C. butter, softened

2 C. sugar

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 tsp. almond extract

4 eggs

3 C. flour

1/2 tsp. salt

1 C. seedless blackberry jam

Icing:

1 C. powdered sugar

3 Tbs. milk

1 tsp. almond extract

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 13x18 rimmed sheet.

2. Cream together butter and sugar in stand mixer until light and fluffy. Add in eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add vanilla and almond extract. Slowly add flour and salt, mixing until just incorporated.

3. Spread the batter in the prepared pan (it will be thin, but it'll cover it). It will spread during baking, so don't worry if it doesn't quite reach the corners of the pan. Drop teaspoonfuls of jam evenly over batter (they'll spread slightly, so you can put them pretty close).

4. Bake 20-25 minutes, or until the edges are golden brown.

5. Once cooled, cut into squares. Whisk together the powdered sugar, milk, and extract. Drizzle over bars.

Cold-Oven Pound Cake

2011-04-27T20:04:00.005-05:00

Joy has always been a difficult concept for me to grasp. What exactly is joy? And how do I live a life full of joy? It should be easy for me to be joyful when everything in life is good (although whether or not something is 'good' is a debatable matter). But many days, when things are going 'my way', I find myself discouraged and full of sadness.

An even great question still, is: how can I be joyful in circumstances that are (again, by my standards) bad? How can I be thankful in the midst of hurt, and pain, and uncertainty? How does one find joy in that? How does one find a reason to be thankful for those times?

I am reading this book. A book about living life fully, right where you are. A book about finding joy in the everyday-life-kind-of-things. A book about being thankful for the simple things. A book about looking for the little things that, so often in life, we take for granted. It's a book that is changing me and my perspective on everything.

This is the part where I tell you about how I've come to know and live a joyful life. But, in all honesty, I haven't discovered what that is or what that looks like. I don't know how to be thankful during the difficult, trying circumstances of life. And I don't know how to tell you how to get there. Still though, I believe with all my heart that it is possible.

Today, I sat pondering what a joyful life looks like and how I could live a life filled with joy. I sat there with a sweet baby cuddled on my lap, sleeping contently. Is this how I start? By staring at this sweet, innocence face, sleeping ever-so-peacefully, his head resting on my shoulder? By feeling his heart beat against my chest, counting each of his breaths, and praising the One who gives him life? By tickling all the little toes on his soft, tiny feet, kissing each one as he giggles gleefully? Is this where it starts? With the little things?

I stop, and think of the many things I love.. early morning light streaming through my windows, the smell of yeast mixed with flour, light blue cotton pajama pants, a baby's content sigh, homegrown tomatoes in a wicker basket, thunder on a summer night, the smell of freshly cut grass. These little things, these small moments, are where I need to start? Thinking of it this way, maybe joy isn't such a difficult thing to grasp.

My life is not lived joyfully right now, but I like to believe it's finally on the right track: thankfulness. Thankfulness for things both big and small, both good and bad. Being continuously thankful, and constantly finding beautiful, new things (sometimes things that are right under my nose) to be thankful for.

Today, in this moment, I stand thankful for things like eggs in morning light, for cake batter, for slices of simple-tasting pound cake. And I hope that, maybe one day, my thankfulness for those lovely, wonderful things will lead me to the point where I'm even thankful for the messy kitchen afterwards.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Cold Oven Pound Cake (slightly adapted from allrecipes)

Ingredients:
3 C. all-purpose flour
3/4 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1 1/2 C. butter, softened
2 C. white sugar
5 eggs
1 C. milk
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. lemon extract

Directions:
1. Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.
2. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Alternatively add the flour mixture and the milk, mixing well. End with flour. Add the vanilla and lemon extracts.
3. Lightly grease and flour a 10 inch tube pan. Pour batter into prepared pan. Place in cold oven and then preheat oven to 350 degrees. Bake for 1 hour and 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the middle of the cake comes out clean.
4. Allow cake to cool in the pan for 1 hour. Turn out onto a cool rack. Glaze or dust with powdered sugar, if desired.

Homemade Ravioli

2011-04-16T22:18:00.003-05:00

Have you ever decided to do something and then, halfway through it, convinced yourself (out of fear, guilt, frustration, or disappointment) that you made a huge mistake? If you have, rest assured you are not alone-- I have done this several times within the past 6 months.

As I have mentioned on this blog ~~once or twice~~ at least 2 dozen times, I will be going to Uganda, Africa in June. I won't go on about how incredibly excited yet completely terrified I am, because I think I've also mentioned that numerous times.

When I first signed up for this trip, I was ecstatic. This had been my dream for so long, it was finally going to happen. I had this high, so to speak. But as always, what goes up, must eventually come down. One day, this trip became a reality- I was going to Uganda. The excitement wasn't completely gone, but fear suddenly dominated my heart and mind. What in the world did I just get myself into? Fear, regret, and restlessness became my constant companions.

I should not be going on this trip. I'm too young, too shy, too inexperienced.. I love my space and my alone time too much. I'm easily overwhelmed.. I crave home-time, I depend on it. I freak out without it.. I need my family. I've never been without them for more than a week, I can't leave them for an entire month.. This was a mistake, I didn't think this through all the way. I can't do this, I just can't.

I wrestled many nights with those fears. Why is it that, when it comes to fear, it always gets the best (or, depending on how you look at it, the worst) of you at night, when it's dark and you're all alone? My fear got to the point where one night, I just laid on my bedroom floor and sobbed hysterically. I was overwhelmed. I was confused. I was exhausted. Mostly though, I was terrified.

That night my fears were at their worst, but that night is when I found peace. Let me just say, there is no experience quite like reading through your Bible when you've reached rock bottom. Since that night, Isaiah 12:2 and Isaiah 41:10 have become verses I cling to and read over and over again. That night, I found (or perhaps the correct words would be I was given) peace, passion, comfort, and encouragement.

There are still days where I worry I've made a mistake, there are times where I second-guess my decision. But deep down (sometimes it's difficult to find) I believe that whatever happens next summer will be good.. maybe a bit trying, difficult, and heartbreaking. But still, it will be for the best.

I made ravioli for dinner tonight. I've had this recipe bookmarked for a while now, and decided to take on something new, a slightly different, and a little challenging. I was excited and convinced that we were eating ravioli for dinner tonight. I started out with determination, positive I could tackle pasta making. How hard could it really be? However halfway through the process, I became discouraged. The dough, it was too stiff. And my muscle-less arms and rolling pin weren't doing such a great job of rolling the dough paper-thin. Truth be told, I was ready to call it quits and open up the bag of store-bought ravioli in the freezer and claim it as my own.

But the motivation to continue came from somewhere, and an hour later than expected, 15 ravioli squares came out of the oven. It wasn't the perfect meal I envisioned-- the noodles were a little too thick and slightly overdone, the recipe didn't make enough to be an actual meal for 8 people, and we were eating at 8:30 at night. But now I know what to do differently next time, so it was good.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Four Cheese Ravioli

Ingredients:
for the dough
2 C. all-purpose flour
pinch of salt
1 tsp. olive oil
2 eggs
water, as needed
for the filling
1 (8 oz) container ricotta cheese
4 oz. cream cheese, softened
1/2 C. shredded mozzarella cheese
1/2 C. shredded provolone cheese
1 tsp. dried parsley
for the egg wash
1 egg
1 Tbs. water

Directions:
1. In a bowl, mix together the flour and salt Form a well. In a separate bowl, beat the olive oil, eggs, and 2 Tbs. water in a bowl. Pour into the flour/salt and mix together with your hands until it forms a dough. If it is too dry and crumbly, add water (several tablespoons at a time) until you have a dough that sticks together but is just slightly stiff.
2. Wrap and refrigerate 1 hour. While dough is refrigerating, mix all the filling ingredients together in a bowl. Set aside.
3. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and set a pot of water on the stove to boil. Sprinkle work surface lightly with flour and roll out the dough. Roll into thin sheets no thicker than a nickel (the thinner you can get them, the better).
4. Cut into squares, rectangles, circles, or shape of your choice. Mix together the remaining egg and 1 Tbs. of water. Brush onto half of the tops of the cut-out dough. Drop the filling mixture onto the dough by teaspoonfuls. Cover with dough that has not been brushed with egg. Press firmly around the filling to seal.
5. Once water is boiling, add ravioli and return to a boil. Cook (uncovered), stirring occasionally, until the ravioli float to the top and the filling is hot (approximately 4-8 minutes). Drain well.
6. Place on a lightly greased baking sheet. Bake in preheated oven for 4 minutes. Serve with sauce.

She's Back! (and she brought cake)

2011-04-11T09:26:00.001-05:00

The most stressful weekend (possibly of the year) is over. And I'm oh-so-very happy about that. I have missed this little blog of mine. I've missed baking and taking pictures of deliciously sweet treats. I've missed sitting down at my desk and looking out the window as I write a blog post. It's so good to be back.

Sweet, beauteous relief came yesterday afternoon, sitting on the porch in a striped gray skirt and my favorite bucket hat. The stress that had accumulated over the past 3 months just vanished. I survived the most-dreaded weekend. It was a marvelously freeing feeling.

And so, dearest little blog, I am back.. back to baking, back to writing, back to blogging. Back to searching for fun, challenging, and delicious recipes to try. Back to pondering what I'm going to bake next for my blog post. Thanks for waiting ever so patiently the past month (or two, or three). I mean, 2 posts in February? What's up with that?

My week this week? It's going to be filled with many lovely things: too many photoshop tutorials (if there were such a thing, that is), deep-cleaning the house, making dinner, going for runs, learning a new piano song, and doing lots of nothing. It's going to be a good week.

I made this lemon-blueberry bundt cake a few weeks ago. My dad bought too many blueberries for us to eat, and they were starting to go bad, so I went through my recipe list in search of something spring-y, lemon-y that contained blueberries. Sadly, there's not much of a lemon flavor to this bundt cake, it's very, very subtle actually. If you're a lemon-lover, you should probably add some more lemon juice, or zest, or extract.

(click 'read more' for recipe)
Blueberry (and lemon) Bundt Cake

Ingredients:
2 1/2 C. all-purpose flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 C. (2 sticks) butter, softened
1 C. light-brown sugar
3/4 C. granulated sugar
4 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 C. sour cream
2 C. blueberries
1 tsp. all-purpose flour
juice of 1 lemon*

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk the flour with baking powder and salt. Set aside.
3. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating until incorporated. Beat in vanilla and lemon juice. Reduce speed and add flour mixture in three additions, alternating with the sour cream. End with flour mixture.
4. In a small bowl, toss blueberries with 1 tsp. flour. Gently fold into batter.
5. Coat a bundt pan with cooking spring and flour. Spread batter into the prepared pan.
6. Bake 60-70 minuets, or until a toothpick (when inserted into center of cake) comes out clean. Cool in pan 10-20 minutes, then flip out onto a cooling rack. Allow to cool completely. Dust with powdered sugar or top with glaze (if desired).

*If you want a lemon taste, I'd add a tablespoon or two of lemon zest in addition to the lemon juice.

Everything Bagels

2011-03-20T15:22:00.001-05:00

I love the smell of the yeast as it gets mixed with the warm water. It's been so long since I've done this- baked just to bake.. I almost don't know where to start. But after several minutes, instinct kicks in. The way the dough just feels so right beneath my hands makes me smile. I love how bright sunshine streams through the window as the balls of dough are shaped into bagels. Yes, I have missed this so much more than I realized. This place, this kitchen, it's where I feel the most at peace, like it's where I belong.

Spring weather always stirs in me the desire to bake something made with yeast. I don't know why, really. But when the weather turns rainy and things start to warm up slightly, I get restless. I want to make something that smells like yeast, something like requires kneading and rolling and shaping. Last year it was soft pretzels, this year it's bagels.

It's been quite a while since I took on a Saturday baking project. Granted I did just make sugar cookies last weekend, but decorating sugar cookies and baking aren't exactly the same thing. Life lately has been crazy and stressful and exhausting. If I'm not chasing after a 2 year old, I'm either loading the dishwasher or trying to work through ACT prep books. And if I'm not doing any of those things, then I'm thinking about taking that ACT test. Sadly, I haven't had the time -or the energy- to take on a 3 hour baking project.

Quite honestly, the whole idea of this ACT test is a little bit ridiculous in my opinion. Why do I need to know the quadric formula or how to find "x"? Will I be using that in my life someday? Most likely not. What does it matter if my score is an 18 or a 28? There are so many things in life to know besides math, science, reading, and writing skills and yet that's all this test grades. And -perhaps the greatest question of all- why does everyone take this so seriously? I am a senior in highschool, just a mere 17 years old. I'm just now beginning to discover what my gifts are and what the things I am passionate about are. Is it honestly realistic for me to have my entire future mapped out? To put it simply: no, it's not.

I'm in this stage of restlessness, anxiousness, and frustration. I'm oh-so ready for this winter to be over. I'm in the homestretch and it's dragging by ever so slowly. I'm ready to graduate, to put highschool and this ACT test behind me forever. I want to feel sunshine on my face and to wear my completely ridiculous bucket hats for the world to laugh at and make fun of. I ready to board a plane headed to Africa and go on the biggest trip of my life. Everything I have to do before June 16th I see as just another thing to cross off the to-do list. An ACT test, tons of doctors appointments, babysitting jobs, birthdays, a piano recital.. I can't wait for the day I look at my list and see everything all crossed off.

I had an amazing 3 day weekend this past week- no where to go, nothing to do. So I decided to tackle a baking project yesterday. I needed something to take my mind off of everything that's been going on, something that involved more than just mixing flour and butter together, something that I had to wait for yet was well-worth the wait. I wanted something spring-ish and I opted for bagels (Everything Bagels to be exact).

I'm a sucker for bread of any kind-- a fresh loaf of bread, crackers, soft pretzels, bagels, anything really. I've made a meal out of bread and cheese too many times to count. Bread is my weakness. I love to bake cupcakes and fruit tarts and chocolate cakes, but I don't always have a taste for those things. But with bread, it's a different story. I love making breads, and it's my favorite thing to eat. So basically it's a win-win situation.

After having an Everything Bagel from Panera several weeks ago, I decided I just had to try to make them at home. My first attempt at bagels last year didn't turn out as well as I hoped, but this recipe, it was fool-proof. I mean, I forgot to add the sugar and they still tasted good. So if you're anxious and restless and looking for a baking project, you should try making these.

(click 'read more' for recipe)
Everything Bagels

Ingredients:

1 C. + 2 Tbs. warm water

2 1/4 tsp. active dry yeast

2 Tbs. sugar

3 C. bread flour

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. garlic powder

1/2 tsp. onion powder

1 egg white

1 Tbs. poppy seeds

1 Tbs. sesame seeds

1 Tbs. flax seeds

1/2 Tbs. kosher salt

1 Tbs. minced dried onion

3 quarts boiling water

Directions:

1. Place water, sugar and yeast in the bowl of a stand mixer. Let sit for 5 minutes or until foamy. Meanwhile, mix together the flour, salt, onion powder, and garlic powder in a separate bowl. Slowly add to the yeast mixture until completely combined. Using the dough hook or by hand, knead for about 2 minutes or until the dough is smooth (you may need to add an extra tablespoon or two of water).

2. Place dough back into bowl and let rest in a warm place for 30 minutes.

3. Cut dough into equal pieces (you should get between 8 and 10 pieces). Roll each small piece into a ball, then shape into bagels (poke your thumb into the middle of the dough and twirl the dough around your finger). Cover and let rest for 1 hour.

4. While the dough is resting, bring 3 quarts of water to a boil and preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a small bowl, mix together all the seeds and salt and onion. In a separate bowl, whisk the egg white.

5. Carefully transfer the bagels to the boiling water. Boil (I did 4 at a time) for 1 minute, turning halfway through. Drain briefly on a clean towel then transfer to baking sheet. Glaze the tops of the bagels with the egg white and sprinkle with the seed mixture.

6. Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until well browned (make sure to keep an eye on the bottoms of the bagels).

Africa-Shaped Sugar Cookies

2011-03-18T13:17:00.002-05:00

Three months from now, I'll be on my way to Africa. That is exciting and terrifying, but mostly surreal. This trip.. it's what I think about on those long afternoons while babysitting. It's the last thing that crosses my mind before I fall asleep, and usually one of my first thoughts when I wake up. It's what I'm dreaming about when I stare listlessly out of my bedroom window. It's the one thing I always, always, always am wanting to talk about with anyone who will listen.

However, as often as I think about it, honestly I don't know what to expect. The uncertainty of it all scares me. Will I fall in love with those kiddos at the orphanage? Will the culture and the poverty be too difficult to handle? What happens if I spend the majority of the trip terribly homesick? How are little African children going to see Jesus' love through me- the shy, quiet white girl who is still in the midst of discovering who He is? Four months from now, when I am back home, I don't know what I'll have to say about this experience. But I have no doubt it will have changed me, for the better.

And I've realized that it really doesn't matter whether I loved or hated this trip, because this trip.. it isn't about me. It's about Him. It's about telling others of His love. It's about making a difference, whether that difference is 'big' or 'little'. I have been given much, so so much. How can I not share the blessings I have? How can I sit in my comfortable house, with a roof over my head and more food than I need while there are kids with no parents, no home, no food, and no love? For too long I have ignored those kids, pretended that they didn't really exist, and thought about everything as facts and numbers (not as children with feelings and emotions and hurts and pains).

Did you know that the life expectancy in Uganda is 46 years? That means I would be parentless. Only four out of every 10 people have easy access to safe drinking water. That means over half of the people I know would not have safe, clean water to drink every day. One out of every six children die before the age of 5 in Africa, what if one of those faces were of the darling children I babysit? The LRA (Lord's Resistance Army) has abducted more than 25,000 Ugandan children since 1986. 25,000 children taken away from the families who loved them, the friends they played with, the people that they knew. For years I haven't made it personal, but now I'm ready for it to be personal.

And so that is why I am going. Although there's not much a girl of 17 years can do, I know that there is One who is great and mighty, and He can work through me. I want to be used by Him and for Him, and right now His plan is for me to go to Uganda. Whether this is His will for the rest of my life, I do not know. But I'm willing to go anywhere, as long as I am by His side.

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to make these Africa-shaped sugar cookies for two of the girls on my team to sell for money towards the trip. These two girls, as well as the rest of my team, have been an incredible blessing so far and I simply cannot wait to meet them and serve with them. Although 80 days seems so far away still, I know it will come quickly.

(Slow Cooker) Cranberry-Apple Cider

2011-03-02T17:30:00.003-06:00

March: mud and rainstorms, gray skies and tufts of grass here and there, occasional days where the weather gets up to the high-forties. That's what I think of when I hear March. Unfortunately, the reality of March thus far has been achy ears, a terrible sore throat, sleepless nights, and too many cough drops.

I intended to start the month of March out right- waking up super-early, finishing schoolwork before noon, cleaning the house, making dinner, that kind of stuff. I was completely confident that I was going to start the month out keeping my priorities straight. And then, Monday morning I woke up with a nasty cold. Needless to say, my priorities changed pretty quickly after that.

Does it not figure that, of course, I don't get sick all winter until now? And that I catch this cold just in time to enjoy it on my 3 days off? Sometimes I think things work out this way just so I learn that really, I can't plan things or know anything for certain. Permanent plans do not work because life is constantly changing.

The future has been on my mind a lot recently. I can plan and plan all I want (will I start college in the fall? Or wait? Will I attend a community college? Do online classes? Get a degree in business? Do I even want to go to college?) but the plan is only going to change a million more times over the course of the next 5 years.

Although I believe it's important to have some sort of direction for your future, I don't think it's necessarily important to plan it all down to the last little detail. A number of things can change and usually there are several different ways to get to where you want to be in 5 years. And you might find that, in five years from now, you're some place entirely different than where you originally intended to be, and that that's okay.

I could easily sit down right now and plan out how I'd like my future to be. In my idealistic world, I'd be a student attending Columbia (or The Art Institute) to get a degree in photography. I would live at home during my school years of course. Eventually I would have my own photography business where I'd photograph everything from weddings to birthday parties, family portraits to sporting events. Although I wouldn't necessarily be living the most 'well off' life around, I'd be content because I'd be doing what I love.

Five years from now, I'd like to be having a conversation with you, telling you about what I learned while going to school for photography. But I know that 6 months from now, I may wish to become a wedding cake designer.. so perhaps (5 years from now) I'll be trying to sell you a wedding cake instead. All this to say, the future is an uncertain thing. But I'm certain that, one way or another, it will all work out (Note: if you ask me this tomorrow, my response could be completely opposite).

March may not have started out so great, but Hot Cranberry-Apple Cider made it a little more pleasant (and it made the few algebra lessons I've done a lot more enjoyable). Another plus to the recipe is that it's super-easy, made in a slow cooker, and tastes good the next day.

(click 'read more' for recipe)
The one complaint about this apple cider was that it was a bit too sweet. To cut out the sweetness, I added about 1-2 cups of water. The water measurements aren't exact though, so you'll have to taste-test it to your own preference.

Hot Cranberry-Apple Cider

Ingredients:
2 quarts of apple juice
1 quart cranberry juice
1 C. orange juice
1-2 C. water
3 cinnamon sticks
1 tsp. ground all-spice
1 tsp. ground cloves

Directions:
1. In a slow cooker, combine all the ingredients. Cook on low 3-4 hours. Remove cinnamon sticks, serve hot. Store leftovers in refrigerator.

Hot Chocolate

2011-02-27T20:26:00.001-06:00

I don't usually do crazy or spontaneous things. I like the organized, well thought through, planned-way-in-advanced things. I don't do well with a last minute change of plans and absolutely hate surprises if they require me going out of the house or people coming over. It's simple really: I like having a schedule, I like following a schedule. I like having things planned and mapped out, with directions available so I know I'm doing things the right way.

I've always wondered what it would be like to have the type of personality where spontaneous and crazy were my normal. What would it be like to be able to say, "Hey yeah, let's hang out tonight! I don't know what we're going to do, but we'll figure it out." or to just get on the expressway and drive without a specific destination in mind.

At times I wish I could be the kind of person who invited people to dinner last minute or went out for coffee with a friend on the spur of the moment. But usually I'm glad that I plan things out so strategically- I know what to expect, things rarely take me off guard, and I feel 'safe'. But there is always this small part of me that feels like I'm missing something, a piece of me that feels like I'm too organized and schedule-oriented to do anything fun and crazy.

I like lists and schedules. But how much fun is it to write someone down in a time-slot, saying you can only talk until 9:30 then you have to go home? When I say, "If you had asked me this sooner I could've gone out with you but, because you didn't, I can't help you. Sorry," what kind of sister, daughter, or friend does that make me? I regret that there are fun times I missed out on because I was so much wanting to stick to my beloved scheduled.

So I've decided to do be less rigid with my schedule, to do things spontaneous (whether that be going out on a day I planned to stay home or making a batch of cookies just because or watching a movie with my sister even when it isn't a specified 'movie night'). I've decided that, although directions are good, they're not a necessity and you can come up with your own plan, recipe, and agenda.

I did this tonight with soup and last week with a recipe for hot chocolate. All winter long I've been (slightly) obsessed with finding a good recipe for hot chocolate and all my attempts have left me feeling rather discouraged. The outcome wasn't...well, worth drinking. For the most part, they basically all sucked.

If there's one thing that frustrates and saddens me the most when it comes to failing at something, it's failing in the kitchen. After reading too many recipes, I left the computer and walked downstairs to the kitchen already feeling defeated by a recipe I hadn't even started. Then, I decided to just start throwing things into a pan on the stove. What was the worst that could happen? I mean, I had already failed 3 times, what was one more time?

The result was 'actually good this time. Not like those other times.' I guess it's good to have a schedule and directions, but making it up as you go along is also okay sometimes.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Hot Chocolate (or cocoa, or whatever you call it)

Ingredients:

1 C. powdered milk

1 C. powdered sugar (maybe a little more)

4 Tbs. extra dark unsweetened cocoa powder

4 C. water

1 Tbs. vanilla

1/4 C. milk

2 C. heavy whipping cream

approximately 2 tsp. powdered sugar

Directions:

1. Combine the first 6 ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat. Let this come to a simmer then remove from heat.

2. Beat the (cold) heavy whipping cream and powdered sugar with a hand mixer on high until stiff peaks form and the texture is.. well, like whipped cream (that's what it's supposed to be).

3. Pour hot chocolate into mugs and top with the whipped cream (and cinnamon if you want).

Valentine's Day Cake

2011-02-17T10:36:00.002-06:00

There are probably things you've told yourself you'd never do, right? And there's a chance you've done some of those same things you said you wouldn't. There's a lot of things in life that I've told myself I'd never do. Some of them are shallow and silly, and others not so much. I do have to laugh at some of the things I decided I wouldn't do, then ended up doing.

Wearing leggings and skinny jeans is one of those things. I put on a pair of leggings once and that was it, I was hooked. Another thing I said I'd never do was obsessively worry about things like an ACT test. Here I am a month and a half away from taking this test and I'm freaking out a ~~little~~ lot. Editing my photos was also something I thought was absolutely dreadful. I considered it taking the easy way out and 'cheating' when it came to taking pictures. 2 years later, here I am completely addicted to Photoshop. I've discovered that learning how to work photoshop is an art in itself. It's also a pretty intense program, so to those of you who know how to work it really good, I admire you.

When it comes to baking, there are two things I've told myself I'd never, ever do. One of those things is making a cake completely covered in fondant. Well, Tuesday afternoon I broke that promise-- I made a heart-shaped cake covered entirely in fondant.

Fondant is this sweet, play-dough-like stuff some people call icing. I've always been a little grossed out at the stuff. Shaping and stretching and rolling the icing I'm going to put on a cake and later eat seems a little bizarre (and nasty). I've used fondant before for things like cake bows and cupcake toppers and other little things like that. But they're usually small pieces that come off the cake when it's time to eat it.

Last year I found this absolutely adorable picture of a Valentine's day cake that I wanted to make. It was a heart shaped cake decorated to look like a box of chocolates. How clever and adorable is that? The only problem was that it had to be done in fondant, there wasn't even an option of trying to make buttercream frosting work. So I decided I'd commit horror or horrors-- I'd cover a cake with fondant.

Although this cake did look pretty cool, it unfortunately didn't taste all that great due to the fondant. We've been picking at it for the past several days, peeling off the fondant and eating the inside of the cake. I will admit the fondant did look pretty cool, but I still prefer the traditional buttercream.

I made cake balls for the top of the cake. Basically you mix crumbled cake with icing, shape them into balls, then freeze for 2 hours. After they've been in the freezer, you dip them in melted chocolate. You can get the directions for them here on Bakerella's blog.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Red Velvet Cake (adapted from The Food Network)

Ingredients:

2 1/2 C. all-purpose flour

1 1/2 C. sugar

1 tsp. baking soda

1 (scant) tsp. salt

2 1/2 Tbs. cocoa powder

1 C. vegetable oil

1 1/2 C. buttermilk*

2 eggs, room temperature

2 Tbs. red food coloring

1 tsp. distilled white vinegar

1 tsp. vanilla extract

*Instead of buying buttermilk, you can add 1 1/2 Tbs. to 1 1/2 cups of regular milk, let it sit for 5 minutes, then use it in the recipe.

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a medium bowl, sift together the all-purpose four, sugar, baking soda, salt, and cocoa powder. Set aside.

2. Whisk together the oil, milk, eggs, food coloring, vinegar, and vanilla for several minutes. Add the sifted dry ingredients to the wet and mix until smooth and thoroughly combined.

3. Divide the batter among cake pans (I'm assuming this recipe will work for a regular 9x13 or 2 9-inch round cake pans, but I used a heart-shaped pan so I'm not 100% sure about that).

4. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick, when inserted in the middle, comes out clean.

5. Cool and then frost with cream cheese frosting (you can get that recipe here).

Buttercream Frosting

2011-01-30T16:18:00.001-06:00

Clutter makes me freak out. Bookshelves filled completely with books, too many pictures on a shelf, a stack of mail on the dinner room table... I freak. Now I understand it's impossible to live 100% clutter-free, but some days the shoes behind the couch and the toys in the stair-step basket send me over the edge. Before you know it, I'm yelling and crying, throwing paper (and usually things other than paper) in the garbage, toys into my little sibling's rooms, and laundry baskets of clothes (dirty or clean) down the basement stairs.

I like organization. When things are organized, I can breathe. When everything is in its right place, I'm calm and things just feel... right. I like it when shoes are lined up neatly, when my pencils are on one side of the drawer and pens are on the other. I like organization and also not having very much stuff (stuff = clutter).

I go to some extremes when it comes to keeping things clutter free. I've made the decision to throw away a few things and later regretted it. My brother had this lamp sitting around our house for months that he never used. It was driving me absolutely crazy, so when we went over to some friends' house for a game of white elephant, I was excited. We would finally be getting rid of the lamp! As it turns out, I ended up coming back home with the lamp. The lamp never saw the inside of our house again though (sorry Sam, yes I put your lamp in the garbage). Sometimes I think I have a disorder when it comes to needing things clean and clutter free.

There's one thing in my life however that is clutter. My closet. No, not because of clothes or shoes (I have a shoe organizer and color coordinate my clothes). I have too many cookbooks. Cookbooks are my weak point. I cannot bring myself to get rid of them, I love them too much. I don't normally use recipes from a cookbook, yet I have nearly 2 dozen cookbooks. Isn't that insane?

The top of the shelf in my closet is filled with these cookbooks (should I mention they're beginning to fall off?) I'm obsessed when it comes to cookbooks. I love the pictures and reading the recipes, hopeful I might actually make one or two of the many recipes I've bookmarked.

Life lately has seemed disorganized and messy. Nothing has a place or a schedule. Everything feels sporadic and chaotic. Life feels like what my closet looks like. With Monday right around the corner, I've decided I'm going to try to start the week out right. I'm going to clean my closet, messy bookshelf and all. And then I'll work on trying to convince myself to part with just one cookbook... that way I'll have 21 instead of 22 :)

(click 'read more' for recipe)
This is one of the few recipes I use that actually came from a cookbook and not from online. It's another one of those recipes that calls for shortening. And again, I haven't found a better frosting recipe without shortening. Keep in mind that this is a sweet frosting so if your cake is already pretty sweet, you might not want to frost it with this frosting.

Basic Buttercream Frosting

Ingredients:
1/2 C. butter, softened
1/2 C. shortening
1/3 C. milk
1/4 tsp. vanilla (or flavoring of choice)
4-5 C. powdered sugar

Directions:
1. Beat butter and shortening. Mix milk and vanilla together in separate bowl. Alternatively add powdered sugar (1 cup at a time) and the milk/vanilla to the butter/shortening. Beat (adding more milk or powdered sugar) until you get the desired consistency.

Sharing, Insecurities, and a Fruit Tart

2011-01-23T22:02:00.002-06:00

Some days I feel like I'm learning toddler concepts all over again. I've done enough babysitting and spent enough time around little kids to know that the one thing they don't usually like to do is share. I have countless memories of children clutching trucks, baby dolls, and legos to their chests, yelling and crying because someone wants their most beloved item. Sharing.. it's a toddler concept. So why do I feel like I'm still learning it?

There are things I don't mind sharing.. and then there are other things that I clutch tightly to and scream when anyone goes near it. The intangible things would be my time and my space. For your sake, you don't want to become a threat to either of those things. But my baking supplies in the top of the pantry? Those can't get touched unless you ask me first or I will freak out. And if you want to use my camera I'll probably cry and try to convince you that you don't really want to use it. It's my beloved Canon Rebel and I have a hard time entrusting it into anyone's hands but my own.

Recipes are another thing I have a hard time sharing. There are a handful recipes that, when someone asks me for them, I cringe inwardly. I've researched, experimented with, and diligently worked on those recipes until I've become utterly exhausted and you simply want me to give it to you? There aren't very many of those, but there is a small stack of recipes in the back of my cookbook that I don't want to share.

There's a part of me that wants to give away my most favorite recipes. I love to bake for other people because I love it when other people can enjoy something sweet and completely delicious. I love being able to do that for people and giving someone the recipe for something they love would be another way they could enjoy a dessert. But there's a part of me that can't unclench my fist and hand over a recipe.

Maybe it's my pride and the fact that I feel that I must be the best or I might as well be nothing at all. Or maybe it's because I need to feel different and special from everyone else around me. Perhaps it's that I fear I'm easily replaceable and need assurance that there's at least one thing I'm needed for, one thing that only I can do. Or maybe it's a combination of all those insecurities.

I'm working on sharing. But this time it's harder than sharing my Barbie dolls or bicycle or favorite stuffed animal. It's sharing my time with someone who needs it.. a sibling, a friend, a person in need. It's sharing my space.. letting others cook in the kitchen, not getting as much alone time as I'd like. It's sharing my recipes.. letting go of my pride, my fear, and trusting I'll still be loved and wanted even if I'm recipe-less.

We had dinner with some friends from church yesterday evening and so I made this for one of the desserts we had. I hate using shortening in recipes (I watched Food Inc. back in June and my life has never been the same since). The crust for this fruit tart has shortening in it because.. well, I just can't get a pie crust to come out quite this good with butter. Ideally I'd like a butter-less, shortening-less pie crust. I'm in the midst of working on that but it may be a while before it comes out edible.

(click 'read more' for recipe)
I kind of made up my own recipe for this one so the measurements and the amount of fruit isn't exact. You might need to add a bit more flour (no more than 1/2 C. though because the dough needs to be a little on the sticky side)
. You'll probably have left overs of the fruit (I did) so just go by what you think is enough to cover your tart. Also, if you don't have a tart pan, a regular cookie sheet should work just fine.

Fruit Tart

Ingredients:
for the crust
2 C. all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1 C. shortening
1/2 C. cold water

for the topping
5 Tbs. sugar
2 Tbs. potato (or corn) starch
2 peaches, pealed and sliced
3 kiwi, peeled and cut
1 (scant) C. strawberries sliced
1/3 C. blueberries (or as needed)

Directions:
1. In a medium bowl, stir together the flour and salt. Cut in the shortening with a fork and mix until the mixture looks like crumbs. Gradually stir in the water and knead briefly. Roll out in a sphere, cover, and refrigerate (35-45 minutes).
2. While the crust is in the fridge, prepare the fruit. Combine the washed peeled, and sliced fruit in a bowl. Add the starch and sugar and mix gently. Set aside.
3. Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Remove dough from the refrigerator and lay out on a lightly floured surface. Roll into a circle large enough to fit your pan. Carefully roll the dough onto your rolling pin and lift onto the tart pan and unroll, making sure there's some dough overlapping. Fit dough into the pan and push into the sides. Gently roll your rolling pin along the top of the tart pan so the excess dough comes off.
4. Arrange fruit on tart pan and sprinkle with a teaspoon of sugar. Bake 25-35 minutes or until done.

Snickerdoodle Cookies

2011-01-22T15:12:00.001-06:00

I've been thinking (more like worrying) about the future lately, mostly about college and a career. And although my mind has gone from dietician to photographer to cake decorator, there's one thing that I know I want to be. One day, when I'm much much older, I hope I am a grandma. I'm not certain about the whole mommy-thing so that could pose a bit of a problem when it comes to being a grandma. But this I know for sure: I'd love to be a grandma.

Grandma memories are the greatest, aren't they? Well, Grandpa memories are pretty awesome too, but right now I'm thinking along the lines of Grandma. When someone says "My grandma..." I think of hot chocolate and cold feet, spaghetti O's and macaroni and cheese, cookies, knitting projects, and other lovely things like that. I dream of the swing on the front porch, walking to the playground down the street, and playing endless games of Chinese checkers.

I'd love to be that Grandma. You know, the one who always has fresh cookies just hanging around the house? The grandma who has the biggest, best recipe book ever (albeit, it'll be a bit out of style by then)? The grandma that little kids love so much they tell their school friends about her? The grandma who always faintly smells like vanilla and always bakes something delicious and sweet for people? Yeah, that's who I want to be.

So you're probably noticing a pattern here. Most of my reasons for wanting to be a grandma are linked or connected in some way, shape, or form to baking. Pretty much I want to be a grandma so that I can bake. That's the honest truth... but is it really so bad?

I remember when I was a little girl and I heard that Grandma was coming, I was so excited. For lots of reasons really, I mean who's not excited to see their Grandma? One thing I really hoped she would bring though were rice krispie treats. You know how all Grandmas have that one thing they're known for making? Well when I was about 5, Grandma was known for her rice krispie treats. To my 5-year-old mentality, Grandma and rice krispie treats went hand in hand. And to this day, no one can make those things like she can.

I've never made snickerdoodle cookies until this past Wednesday. I sent a box of cookies to two of the girls I'll be going to Africa with in June (blogpost on that later) and one of the girl's favorite cookies were snickerdoodles. Although it might seem funny, sometimes certain foods remind me of certain people. And snickerdoodle cookies (with their thin but chewy texture and cinnamon-y taste) remind me of a grandma.. Comforting, cozy, and sweet.

(click 'read more' for recipe)
Snickerdoodle Cookies (slightly adapted from allrecipes)

Ingredients:
1 C. butter, softened
1 1/2 C. sugar
2 eggs
2 1/2 C. flour
2 tsp. cream of tartar
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt (omit completely if you have salted butter)
4 Tbs. sugar
1 Tbs. cinnamon

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. In a stand mixer, cream the butter, sugar, and eggs. Combine the flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, and salt in a separate bowl. Add the flour-mixture to the butter mixture and stir until well blended.
3. Mix the 4 Tbs. of sugar and the cinnamon in a small bowl. Take a teaspoon of the dough and roll it into a ball, then roll in the cinnamon-sugar. Place on cookie sheet.
4. Bake 8-10 minutes or until lightly brown (but still soft).

Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies

2011-01-15T21:00:00.006-06:00

I always have a hard time trying to write a post for this blog after I haven't blogged in a while. My blog, a place that is familiar to me, becomes unfamiliar after I've gone several weeks without blogging. I'm suddenly nervous, wondering, "What do I write? Should I write a post filling you in on what my life has been like for the past month? Do I even have anything of importance to write about?"

The past week was a bad week. I won't go into further detail because that would only be boring and discouraging to read, but it was a bit of a rough week.

Although the bad outweigh the good, right now I'd rather think/write about things like... Baby Aiden's hugs all throughout the day yesterday and making him laugh hysterically with only a stuffed monkey. Playing scrabble with wonderful friends-- Robert and Elise. And even though I lost, it was still a time of great fun and laughs. Playing in the snow with 3 silly little boys -Charlie, Jamie, and Nolan. We attempted to build a snowman, threw snow at each other, and shoveled the pathway. And making thin mint cookies this evening. Those are the things that come to mind as I'm sitting here trying to be grateful for this past week.

When I was younger, I was in girl scouts. Well, actually I think I lasted about a month before I decided it was boring. No offense to any girl scouters out there who love it, it just wasn't something I enjoyed. I was much too cool to spend 3 hours a week doing crafts so while my older sister was gone being a girl scout, I stayed home reading books about Columbus, George Washington, and the Civil War (Yeah, I was that kid, the nerdy, know-it-all, annoying one).

When I hear the word girl scouts, lots of things come to mind-- green skirts, vests with badges, crafts, and cookies. You know, the samoas and the shortbread cookies and the thin mint cookies that you can only get once a year? I think the fact that you can't have them year-round make them all the more special and delicious.

Well, recently I decided it would be pretty cool if I could make homemade girl scout cookies. I mean seriously, how awesome would that be? Not sure if I could handle making samoas just yet, I decided to try something a little easier: thin mint cookies. Personally I'm not a huge fan of them, but my three sisters (who like mint in cookies and ice cream) gave them a thumbs up and said they tasted pretty similar to the real version of a girl scout thin mints cookie. The only major difference between these cookies and the real thing is that my chocolate icing isn't as smooth and perfect as those that come out of the box.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Thin Mint Cookies (slightly adapted from 101 Cookbooks)

Ingredients:
2 sticks butter, softened
1 C. powdered sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 C. cocoa powder
3/4 tsp. fine grain sea salt
1 C. whole wheat pastry flour
1/2 C. all-purpose flour

3 C. semi-sweet chocolate chips
approximately 3/4 tsp. peppermint extract

Directions:
1. In a mixer, cream butter until it's light and fluffy. Add the powdered sugar and cream some more, scraping the sides of the bowl if necessary. Add the vanilla extract, then the salt and cocoa powder. Mix until the batter is smooth and creamy. Add the flour next and mix just until the batter is no longer dusty looking (it still will be crumbly).
2. Turn the dough out onto the counter and shape it into a ball. Knead it a few times to bring it together then flatten into a disk. Place the dough in the freezer for 20 minutes to chill.
3. Preheat oven and remove the dough from the freezer. On a lightly floured surface, roll the dough to about 1/8 an inch thick. Cut out cookies with a cutter and place on cookie sheet that has been lined with parchment paper.
4. Bake 8-10 minutes (I noticed if I went much past 8 minutes my cookies would start to smell burnt, but every oven is different). Transfer cookies to a wire rack and cool completely.
5. After cookies have cooled, melt the chocolate. You can either use a double boiler or, if you don't have one, you can take a sauce pan and fill it a little less than halfway up with water. Once the water comes to a simmer, take a dish and put it over the saucepan. Then melt your chocolate chips in the dish.
6. Once the chocolate is smooth and completely melted, remove from heat and add the peppermint. My measurements for this were not exact, so add a little at a time and taste it as you go.
7. Drop the cookies, one at a time, into the melted chocolate and coat. After the cookie is coated, lift gently with a fork and lightly tap the fork on the side of the pan to drain any excess chocolate off the cookie. Place on a parchment paper lined baking sheet and put in the freezer 5-10 minutes or until the chocolate has hardened.

Cinnamon Hot Chocolate

2010-12-31T22:38:00.002-06:00

I'm sitting here tonight, thinking about 2010 and all that is has brought. I'm remembering tears of both joy and sadness. I'm thinking about the difficult lessons I have learned (and some I'm relearning). I'm cherishing the many things I've laughed over while remembering the things that have caused pain.

I'm remembering countless afternoons of playing scrabble on the front porch-- a weekly tradition I hope continues. I remember how a little less than a year ago, I went to my first George Winston concert with my dad. I made my first wedding cake this year and received my very own Kitchen Aid mixer back in April. I remember going for a bike ride downtown with dear friends, late at night, and getting caught in a horrible rainstorm. I remember our soaked sweaters and pants and shoes, being teeth-chattering cold, and laughing because what else can you do?

There are many things this upcoming year has in store-- finishing highschool, going to Africa, taking my ACT, figuring out college, learning to drive. Some of these things I'm looking forward to with great eagerness while others could wait just a while longer. There are many unknown things 2011 has in store-- I'm sure some things pleasant while others not-so-pleasant. I have no doubt the year will be filled with more hard to learn lessons, more laughter, and more tears.

As I sit here staring at this computer screen, I'm filled with sadness. Years go by all too quickly, I see that already. I want cling to my memories from the past year and ignore the fact that another year has, once again, gone by. I want to stay in the year 2010 for just a big longer. But I know it's time to let go and embrace yet another year of life and all that it has to offer.

The actual date and time of New Year's has never much mattered to me. I do this "Oh my goodness, remember a year ago when..." throughout the entire year, not just tonight. So like every year, I will be asleep by 11:00. Then tomorrow will come and January 1st will feel like just another day. Really that's what it is, right? I'm bringing in the new year with a mug of cinnamon hot chocolate, playing Banana Grams, and sharing a simple but wonderful dinner with my family. Simple and absolutely beautiful.. what a better way to end any night?

(click 'read more' for recipe)
Hot Chocolate

Ingredients:
1/3 C. unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 C. white sugar
1/8 tsp. salt
1/3 C. boiling water
3 1/2 C. milk
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1/2 C. half-and-half
Cinnamon (optional)

Directions:
1. In a saucepan, boil 1/3 water. Combine the cocoa, sugar, and salt and add to water. Bring mixture to an easy boil while stirring. Simmer and stir for 2 minutes. Stir in 3 1/2 C. milk and heat until very hot but do not boil. Remove from heat and add vanilla. Divide into 5 mugs and add the cream to the mugs of cocoa to cool it to drinking temperature (add 1/4-1/2 tsp. of cinnamon to each mug if desired).

Traditional Pound Cake

2010-12-29T09:11:00.003-06:00

Christmas is over. I always have mixed emotions during the days following Christmas. There's sadness. I'm no longer looking forward to giving away my gifts and seeing everyone's reactions to them, Sam and Ellie don't have red and green loops hanging in the bedrooms anymore, the atmosphere just... changes. I also struggle with guilt-- how much time did I take to truly appreciate what Christmas means? Not much. But overall, the feeling I get is relief. No more last minute trips to the store, no more late nights of putting together gifts, the clutter-y Christmas decorations can come down. I feel as if I can breathe again.

One could probably consider me a Christmas Scrooge. December is the month I dread. It's chaotic, it's crazy, it's insanely busy, and Christmas has become more about getting gifts than it is about the Baby. I don't yell, "Humbug!" to kids on the street, but I'm not exactly singing along to Christmas carols all month either. When you really think about it, how silly is it that we cut down a tree, bring it inside our home, and decorate it? I absolutely love our Christmas tree, don't get me wrong. I love the white lights, the blue beads, the assortment of ornaments. I love the smell, the coziness it brings to our living room. But when you take a minute to really think about it, it is a bit ridiculous.

Despite my scrooge-like attitude that lasts all throughout December, there are things I love. Buying and wrapping gifts for my family is one of those things. Sitting in a rocking chair, drinking something warm and staring at the tree lights is another thing I love. I love the part in our church's Christmas Eve service where everyone holds a lighted candle, singing a Christmas hymn. Watching one of the few Christmas movies I enjoy- The Nativity- is something I look forward to, something that helps me grasp the true meaning of Christmas. There's something in the atmosphere that is there in December, something I can't quite put my finger on.

I'm ready for the dreary days of January.. the bitter cold, the gloomy skies, the lifelessness of winter. Those are the days I really love.

The amount of baking I did on Christmas eve was completely insane. I got my fill of baking Christmas-recipes and then some. Cinnamon rolls, fudge, pound cakes, cookies, it was borderline too much baking and utterly exhausting. But it was an enjoyable exhausting.

(click 'read more' for recipe)
Traditional Pound Cake

Ingredients:
4 sticks butter, softened
3 C. sugar
6 eggs
4 C. all-purpose flour
2/3 C. milk

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Cream butter with sugar. Add eggs, beat well. Beat in the flour alternatively with the milk, mixing just until combined.
3. Pour into a greased bundt cake pan (or 3 8x4 inch loaf pans). Bake 60-70 minutes or until done (baking time varies depending on pan size and shape).
4. Once cooled, sprinkle with powdered sugar or drizzle with icing.

Finally

2010-12-22T19:42:00.000-06:00

I've been up to lots of baking this week and am only halfway done. My stress level is going up, no doubt about that, but I'm getting baking done and I'm happy about that.

Last weekend, I made these two coconut cakes for a friend..

Ellie and I have made one of these... all we're missing are gingerbread men and gingerbread trees.

I've made this for the first (and possibly last) time:

And Christmas baking wouldn't be complete if I didn't make these at least once during December:

I have more on the list to bake-- pecan cookies, chocolate chip cookies, gingersnaps, gingerbread men (Ellie might be looking forward to that more than I am), and snowball cookies. I also have lots on my to do list-- last minute gift shopping and wrapping, practicing a piano song and getting it down by Friday, starting and finishing a 40 page scrapbook by Saturday morning, and other things. So the blogging will have to wait until after Christmas, but Christmas-y desserts finally are coming out of the oven... it's about time, right?

Christmas Tree Sugar Cookies

2010-12-15T13:00:00.004-06:00

Someone places two plates of cookies in front of you. On one plate, you see chocolate crinkle cookies, each shaped into the same size ball, the powdered sugar created a beautifully cracked pattern along the tops and sides of the cookies. On the other plate, you see simple round peanut butter cookies, the fork marks on the tops of them not the same size, not very even, the cookie's sizes vary slightly. Which cookie do you take?

If I had a choice -the chocolate crinkle cookies or the peanut butter cookies- I know I'd go for the chocolate ones. I know it's wrong and unfair, but I judge a cookie's taste by its appearance. If the cookie is pretty and elegant looking, I automatically assume it's completely delicious. Plain, light brown peanut butter cookies barely get 2 seconds of my attention.

How often we do this all through our lives- judge by first impression- whether it be cookies, houses, people, clothing, or other things. How quick I am to determine the value of something depending on how it looks to me within the 10 seconds I first see it. How unfair it is for me to do that.

Over the weekend, I played in a piano recital. Piano recitals are something I dread for more reasons than one. As uncomfortable as it is, I can handle people staring at me for 3.5 minutes. I love practicing my song beforehand, so that's not my reason for dreading recitals. My reason for not liking recitals is probably the same as everyone else's-- making a mistake.

I hold myself to the standard of perfection. In my mind, perfection is tied in with worth. With each wrong key or missed note, it's another mark against me as my worth level drops just a little bit lower. What I fear more than butchering a piano song, is that people will think less of me afterwards.

But the funny thing is that no one has ever done this to me. No one has ever said, "Oh you messed up your song, you're not as much value to me as before." It's a fear and a thought I have placed in my own mind. For so long, I have determined the value and worth of something within the first few seconds or minutes of me seeing it or using it, and now I fear people will do this with me. First impressions should have little to no value. But so often, we make them out to be everything.

I've decided to try to stop thinking that pretty and elegant and colorful cookies most likely taste better and therefore are better than the basic, plain cookies. Regardless of whether something is plain and simple, full of imperfections, and has many mistakes and mess-ups in it, it is just as beautiful as anything else.

On a different note- we went grocery shopping yesterday! This means our house is no longer egg-less, butter-less, and sugar-less. That combined with the fact that I've been looking through Christmas cookbooks means that Christmas-y desserts will (hopefully) be coming out of the oven in this house later in the week.

Baked Oatmeal (while I wait)

2010-12-07T08:34:00.002-06:00

Since July, I have been writing a list of Christmas desserts I've wanted to make in December. It was a list filled with snowball cookies and peanut brittle, shortbread cookies and thumbprint cookies, fudge squares and truffles, pinwheel cookies, mint sandwich cookies, cinnamon rolls, ginger snaps, and many many other things. Actually to be honest, my list was probably too long for me to even put a dent in. But I love to make lists, even if I don't necessarily finish everything on them.

Somewhere between July and November, I lost this oh-so-amazing list I wrote out. My ideas and plans, just gone. And although I'm in the process of writing a new one (maybe a more realistic one) there's nothing like the original list.

I've been putting off a blogpost not because I don't have anything to say or because I don't have the time to sit and write out a post. I haven't written because I feel bad, guilty. It is December 7th and I have yet to make one Christmas-y dessert. December, the craziest and funnest baking month of the year, and the oven in our kitchen has remained off. The question is.. why? Being out of eggs for nearly a week might have something to do with it, but I think it's a little more than that.

What did I imagine December to be like? Dozens of different kinds of cookies coming out of the oven every other day? Sitting at the dining room table with Ellie, working on a gingerbread house? Constant blogging about different kinds of December desserts I'd made? I had hoped that it would work out that way. But I know myself all too well, December baking would consist of me trying to cram in a bunch of recipes the week before Christmas.

I tend to think the amount of baking I do depends on my mood. If I'm stressed, I'll bake not out of will but out of desperation to get some sense of peace. If I'm sad, I'm too wrapped up in my emotions and the idea of baking barely crosses my mind. There's a possibility I'll bake when I'm happy, but usually I'm busy enjoying whatever it is I'm doing. I bake when things are calm not only around me but inside of me. And when I'm not feeling like things are particularly calm, then baking is nothing more than throwing eggs and sugar into a bowl and hoping the end result is semi-decent.

So as of lately, the blog has remained silent for many reasons-- mourning the loss of my dearly beloved list, feeling guilty for the lack of Christmas desserts, but mostly because I am waiting for the calm to come.

(click 'read more' for recipe)
I did bake one thing last week-- apple cinnamon raising oatmeal. The healthy aspect of this dish is what motivated me to make it. And, whether you're a health nut or not, it's good oatmeal. Keep in mind it isn't very sweet, so if you're wanting more sweetness to it, add in some brown sugar after it's baked in the oven. But I'd give the subtle sweetness a try first.

Baked (Apple Cinnamon Raisin) Oatmeal

Ingredients:
2 C. old-fashioned oats
1 3/4 C. boiling water
2 C. milk
1 1/2 C. chopped, peeled tart apples
3/4 C. raisins (or dried cranberries)
1/4 C. maple syrup
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly spray an 11 inch x 7 inch casserole dish (a 9x13 should also work)
2. Place oats in a large bowl; add boiling water. Let stand for 5 minutes. Stir in the remaining ingredients.
3. Transfer to baking dish. Bake for 40-50 minutes.

10 Lessons from Thanksgiving (and Pecan Pie)

2010-11-30T14:12:00.002-06:00

Things I learned while cooking our Thanksgiving meal:

1. It's easy to cook everything, but very hard to time it all out so everything is done at the same time.

2. Corn casserole tastes just as good when you're eating it for dessert.

3. Having a dishwasher is a good thing, especially on Thanksgiving day. The amount of dishes that have to get washed is insane.

4. Don't automatically assume the stovetop is cool. Touching the grates on the burner of the stove will leave you with a burn blister on all four of your fingers.

5. House-sitting for two neighbors comes in extremely handy when you're baking 3 different things at 3 different temperature (Thanks Becci & Kris and Tim & Abby!)

6. Write a list of dishes you're going to serve and keep it in front of you while you're cooking so that you don't realize, halfway through the meal, that you forgot about the roasted carrots you wanted to make.

7. Thanksgiving day is the only day you can make something using canned and boxed ingredients and it can still be considered homemade.

8. Empty your refrigerator the day before Thanksgiving-- people will be bringing things that need to be kept cold before the meal and if your father is a grocery shop-a-holic, you won't have enough space to store everything and the cranberry salad will have to be put out on the back porch in order to stay cold.

9. It's impossible to cook the entire meal by yourself, moms and grandmas are greatly appreciated and definitely come in handy (thanks guys!)

10. You could cook a perfect meal and have no one to share it with, but I'd rather cook an imperfect meal and share it with my family and dear friends. That's what makes the meal special.

(click 'read more' for recipe)
Pecan Pie (slightly adapted from The Food Network)

Ingredients:
1 unbaked pie crust (I used the dough recipe I use for apple pie. You can find it here)
1 stick butter
1 C. sugar
1 C. light corn syrup
3 eggs, beaten
1 C. chopped pecans

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a saucepan, melt the butter (do not let it brown). Mix in the sugar and corn syrup and cook, stirring, over medium heat until the sugar dissolves and mixture begins to bubble (but not boil). Remove from heat. Add eggs, mix well. Stir in the pecans.
2. Pour into the unbaked pie shell and bake for 50-60 minutes or until firm when shaken.

Something Sweeter Than Coffee Cake

2010-11-21T17:06:00.003-06:00

This morning, my cousin (Robert) and I went to go drop off shoebox gifts (Operation Christmas Child) at a church in Oak Park. We pulled into the church's parking lot to see two little kids and (I'm assuming) their dad loading hundreds of wrapped shoeboxes into a truck. My immediate thought? "Our 11 shoeboxes seem like nothing compared to that."

Nevertheless, we went to get our boxes out of Robert's car. The little boy we saw loading boxes into the truck hopped off and offered, in the sweetest way, to help us get our few boxes. "Hey! I'm Steve! Do you guys need help with your boxes?" He quickly grabbed a few boxes and brought them over to the 'lifter-thingy' (as he called it), organizing the boxes in a line. He handed me a clipboard, asking if I'd sign out a form for the shoeboxes and continued chattering.

After filling out the short, simple form, Robert and I noticed the people before us had dropped off 40 shoeboxes. If I thought 11 boxes seemed petty then, the feeling of discouragement only increased about 100 times after seeing that. We handed back the clipboard, said goodbye to Steve and his family, and went back to the truck. "Wait! Don't you want your sticker?" he called, holding out a few stickers.

Fingering the crumpled up stickers in my pocket on the drive home, I thought about this little boy and what made him seem so... different. He was joyful, happy, sweet, kind, helpful. He was the most incredibly servant hearted person I have seen in a while. He had a life and a love to him that I cannot explain. But it was the coolest thing to experience. And he was a boy who was 11 years old at the most.

Without knowing it, this young boy made an impact on my heart that I hope to never forget. He taught me that big or small, the only thing that matters is if your heart is in your service. He taught me that it doesn't matter what your age, you can still teach someone a valuable lesson. He reminded me that big numbers, fancy clothing, and good careers aren't -at the end of the day- what a person reflects on or thinks about. They remember love. They remember a kind heart. They remember a spirit of humility. They remember the servant-hearted 11 year old boy, packing shoeboxes to send to other children who wouldn't get a Christmas gift otherwise.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Cinnamon Coffee Cake

Ingredients:

-for cake-
1/2 C. butter, softened
1/2 C. sour cream
2 C. flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. vanilla
2 eggs
1 C. sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt

-topping and filling-
1/3 C. brown sugar
1/2 C. white sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 C. chopped walnuts (optional)

Directions:
1. Pre heat oven to 325 degrees. Cream butter, sugar, sour cream until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and vanilla so it's all creamed together.
2. Pour half the batter into a spring-form pan. Top off with half of the nut mixture. pour in the remaining batter, spread out evenly with a fork, then top with remaining nut mixture.
3. Bake for 50 minutes or until done.

Vegetable and Rice Soup

2010-11-18T17:45:00.003-06:00

Cold weather means lots of lovely (and not so lovely) things. Scarves and boots, fuzzy socks and thick sweaters, soup and hot apple cider. When I envision the dark, gloomy days of January, I smile. I think of evenings spent working on craft projects (in particular knitting and cross-stitching), I think of candles being lit, I think of warm blankets, I think of the steam that fogs up my glasses when I walk indoors after being outside. I think of family, contentment, peace, and comfort.

There's something I like about walking home in the freezing cold. Because while I'm walking and feeling the sting of the wind on my face, I think of home. I imagine the feeling of putting my hand on the doorknob and stepping inside our house. I imagine the dimly lit living room, the dining room table being covered in my sibling's schoolbooks, and the familiar sounds of home. Walking home in the cold makes me appreciate these things all the more.

One of the many things I love about cold weather is baking. Hands are held above and around the oven door, eager to feel the warmth. And something about baking and gloomy January days just go so well together.

I've made soup twice this month. That probably doesn't seem like all that much. But in the past we've only made soup about 4 times throughout the entire winter. But this year, I've been storing and saving bunches of soup recipes-- green pepper, chicken and noodles, rice and vegetables, chili. I'm thinking lots of bread and soup recipes making an appearance here throughout the upcoming months.

(click 'read more' for recipe)
Rice and Vegetable Soup

Ingredients:
3 quarts (16 C) chicken broth (you can homemake yours by adding 1 chicken bouillion cube (or 1 tsp) for every 1 1/2 cups of water. Heat over stovetop until dissolved)
2 C. finely chopped celery
1 1/2 C. carrots, thinly sliced
3/4 C. finely chopped onion
1 tsp. chicken bouillion
1 tsp. dried parsley flakes
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. dried thyme
1/4 C. butter
1/4 C. flour
1 (10.75 oz) can condensed cream of mushroom soup
1/2 C. additional chicken broth
4 C. cooked rice
2 C. cubed chicken

Directions:
1. In a large saucepan, combine the first 8 ingredients. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 30 minutes.
2. Melt butter in microwave and stir in the flour. Gradually whisk into the broth mixture. Return to a boil cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Whisk in mushroom soup and extra chicken broth. Add rice and chicken. Heat thoroughly.

Pumpkin Ice Cream

2010-11-14T09:16:00.001-06:00

For the past week and a half now, I've been on an 'emotional high' so to speak. Life has just seemed really good lately. Exciting things are happening, and a lot of changes taking place. And usually, when I'm feeling like life is really good, I back away from the feeling, knowing that the high won't last long. The inevitable crash will come, and it'll be easier to deal with if I don't get too happy. But this week, I threw myself into the feeling whole-heartedly. I decided to enjoy life while it was good and stop worrying about when the crash would come.

As a result, I had one of the best weeks I've had in a while. Nothing drastically changed. Dishes still had to be washed, laundry still folded and put away, schoolwork still done. The drastic change was my attitude and outlook more than anything.

Of course, what goes up must always come back down. And yesterday morning, I felt the beginning effects of a crash coming on. Just one simple, little thought that whispered in the back of my mind sent me in the direction of a downward spiral. That's all it took. I feel like I'm in mid-crash, not yet at the bottom, but a little ways down from being on that high.

I've come to see we all have times when we're up and times when we're down. I understand now that some people are wired to be more positive and others are a little on the negative side. And it's okay because everybody's gotta be different.

So I guess none of this really applies to the pumpkin ice cream that I'm going to post. I made this 2 weeks ago, but -being so busy and excited about things- I haven't wanted to sit down and write a blogpost. Why write a blogpost when I could write an email to two of the girls I'm going to Africa with? Why spend time baking in the kitchen when I could be walking around downtown with my little sister Ellie, friend Elise, and two of the cutest kiddos? I've wanted to reflect on the talks I've had with good friends this week, not think about sugar cookie decorating and cake frosting techniques.

I'm sure ice cream isn't the first thing that pops into your mind when it's November and 39 degrees out outside. But I always get the itch to make ice cream during the winter, when it's cold. Not during the summer, when it would be most appreciated with the 90 degree heat. But ice cream is still good, no matter when you eat it.

(click 'read more' for recipe)
Pumpkin Ice Cream (from bakingbites)

Ingredients:

2 C. heavy cream

1 1/2 C. milk

3/4 C. brown sugar

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp. ground ginger

1/4 tsp. ground cloves

1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg

1/8 tsp. salt

1 C. pumpkin puree

3 egg yolks

1 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions:

1. In a medium sized saucepan, combine cream, milk, brown sugar, and all spices. Cook over medium heat (stirring occasionally) until the mixture almost comes to a boil and the sugar is dissolved.

2. Meanwhile, whisk together the pumpkin puree and the egg yolks in a large mixing bowl. When the cream is very hot, drizzle it into the egg mixture while whisking constantly to temper the eggs. Once the hot cream has been completely incorporated, transfer the mixture back to the saucepan.

3. Cook over medium heat, stirring frequently with a spatula and scraping the bottom and sides of the bowl until the mixture has thickened and coats the back of a spoon. Stir in vanilla. Remove from heat.

4. Strain (optional) into a large, clean bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate 6 hours or overnight.

5. Pour chilled mixture into an ice cream maker and freeze as direction (make sure your ice cream maker can fit all of the mixture before you pour it all in). Freeze as directed.

6. Transfer to a freezer-safe container and allow ice cream to firm up 1-2 hours before serving.

Oat Raspberry Pear Loaf

2010-11-01T16:50:00.003-05:00

"At the end of the day, there are just some things you can't help but talk about, some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say because there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves."

I'm not a person of very many words. I like to just listen to conversations, preferring to let the others around me do the talking. That's not to say I don't do my fair share of talking (I'm a girl, I do like to talk). But more often than not (especially when with large groups of people), I stay silent.

I prefer simple, to the point conversations-- no beating around the bush. I like comfortable silences-- the kind of silence where you can sit for lengths of time with someone and not have to say anything. I like deep, meaningful conversations with good friends. I like not depending on words, not needing my every waking moment to be filled with words (be it a conversation, a song, or the radio). I like being able to sit comfortably in the quiet.

I think too often we don't realize the value of our words. We don't realize how important the things we say -or don't say- are. My desire is, rather than saying things flippantly, to have put serious thought into my words. Oftentimes we say things just to hear the sound of our own voice. But I want my words to have significance and meaning.

I take a lot of time to think about something before I bake it. I suppose to many that seems silly, but to me baking is important. And, when something is important to me, I take a lot of time to think about it. This bread was something I thought about before I actually made it. When I saw the recipe, I immediately saved it. But I took my time deciding when to make it.

I don't want my words -both written and spoken- to be cheap, easy to come by, and excessive. There's a certain beauty about silence that cannot compare to the things we say.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Oat Raspberry Pear Loaf

Ingredients:

Granola Topping
1/4 C. rolled oats
1/4 C. brown sugar
2 Tbs. all-purpose flour
2 Tbs. cold butter, cut into small pieces

Loaf
1 C. rolled oats
1 C. boiling water
11 Tbs. butter
1/2 C. brown sugar
1/4 C. granulated sugar
2 eggs, room temperature
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 1/2 C. all-purpose flour
pinch of salt
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2-1 tsp. cinnamon
1 pear, peeled, bored, and diced
3/4 C. raspberries (I used fresh, but frozen would also work)

Directions:
1. Pour the boiling water over the rolled oats and set aside until lukewarm. Once cooled, squeeze out any extra water.
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly butter a loaf pan.
3. Make topping: combine all the topping ingredients in a small bowl and rub with your fingertips until the mixture is well incorporated and forms small clumps.
4. Make loaf: cream butter and sugars until light and creamy. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Once eggs are incorporated, mix in the vanilla. Sift the flour, salt, baking powder, and cinnamon over the creamed butter. Add the drained oats and half of the diced pear. Using a rubber spatula, fold the mixture together until combined.
5. Spread 2/3 of the batter into the loaf pan. Sprinkle with the remaining pear and the raspberries. Smooth the remaining batter over the fruit, then evenly sprinkle with the granola topping.
6. Bake for 1 hour-75 minutes, or until a toothpick (when inserted) comes out clean. Keep in mind however that the pears and raspberries will stay moist.
7. Cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then run a knife along the edges and turn out onto a cooling rack to cool completely.

Not As Expected (Pumpkin Cut-Out Cookies)

2010-10-26T15:43:00.006-05:00

Several weeks ago, I thought I had come up with the most amazing idea ever. Pumpkin-flavored sugar cookies. For a pumpkin-lover, nothing could be better! I was eager to find a recipe and try this idea. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a recipe for pumpkin cut out cookies. So much for my genius idea, right?

Last week, a friend sent me the link to some cookies she was thinking about making. Yes, they were pumpkin cut out cookies. I was excited to try this recipe! I could just imagine the pumpkin-y fall taste of the cookies and the look of the fall-themed decorated cookies. I was convinced that this was going to turn out perfect. It was such a great idea, how could it not?

Well, to put it simply, it didn't work out so well. The dough was so sticky I had to add more flour. And the baked cookies were chewy on the inside but too crisp on the outside. The cookies didn't taste much like pumpkin, and the icing I used only made it taste worse. I was so bummed because what I thought was a grand idea turned out to be one of my biggest baking disappointments.

I do that with a lot of things. I put big expectations on events, or things, or people and when my expectations aren't met, I'm utterly disappointed. It's not that my expectations are too high (though sometimes they are). When I start thinking about what something is going to be like or how an event is going to turn out, I then want it to happen how I've planned it in my head. So in a way, something could be done that's better than what I expected and I'm still slightly disappointed.

I put an expectation on these cookies that wasn't met. And that disappointed me. There was some good in these cookies, but due to my disappointment I was unable to see those things. They did taste good, just not what I had imagined. I also was able to try out some fun fall designs on these cookies and that has motivated me to draw out some other designs and patterns for the sugar cookies that I want to make later in the week. Good came out of these cookies... just not the kind that I was expecting.

So I'm learning that I don't have to be disappointed when things don't turn out how I imagined. The unexpected can still be good, sometimes better than what you imagined in the beginning.

Encouragement and Dark Chocolate Frosting

2010-10-18T23:14:00.005-05:00

Encouragement comes in many ways, shapes, and forms. Encouragement comes through words, through actions, through gestures. We all, at some time or another, need encouragement from others. And we all are also an encouragement to others (whether we are conscious of it or not). Encouragement is kind of like love-- we all need it.

It's funny sometimes the things that give you encouragement, the things that fill you with hope, and the things that make you smile. Today it came to me while on my morning run. About 5 days a week I cross paths with a dog-walker and his two dogs. We smile and say hello to each other, a very brief interaction. Yet it's something I realize I look forward to. Lately when I go out in the morning, I look for the man and his two dogs. I look forward to that short, 2-second hello and that smiling face and seeing those two massively huge dogs.

Encouragement comes from my mom, who knows when something is bothering me even if I've said nothing about it. Who offers solutions and ways to fix -or ease- my problems. And when there is no solution, she just stays with me (that can be a solution in itself). Encouragement comes from her support. It comes from her believing in me and pushing me to chase my dreams that I think are too far or big for me to achieve.

Encouragement comes from two-year-old Nicholas in the nursery on Monday and Wednesday mornings. The sweet, crazy little boy who looks into your face with eyes so full of love and life you have to smile. The little boy who has that life's a party personality that everyone loves. Little Nicholas, who walks up to you and just throws his arms around your neck when you least expect it.

Encouragement comes from Ellie who says to me, "That cake looked so good I thought you bought it!" Her eyes bug out and her face becomes lively and animated as she explains how she saw it in the freezer and thought it was from a store. And, although you'd like your cakes to look better than the ones that come from the bakery section in the grocery store, you smile because you know Ellie meant it as a pretty big compliment.

Encouragement comes when you read old letters sent to you by a dear friend. Letters that you've stored away to keep because they're too precious to part with. It comes from having a bond so strong between you that weeks can pass without either of you talking much and you're able to pick right back up where things left off. It comes from her friendship that lasts through the many miles between you both.

To encourage someone: to inspire them, to fill them with confidence, to give them hope, to support them. I have many bad days, many depressing days, and many sad days. But sometimes all it takes is the smallest act of encouragement to turn things around. And so I strive to not just receive encouragement, but to be an encourager.

This past weekend, I made a cake for our church's staff appreciation lunch. This is the cake that Ellie thought came from the bakery. I kept it simple because I like simple (see previous post). In between each layer, I spread dark chocolate frosting just to change things up a bit. I also made cupcakes this past week and those were anything but simple. That recipe, however, will come later this week.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Hershey's Especially Dark Chocolate Frosting (from hershey's website)

Ingredients:
1/2 C. (1 stick) butter, melted
2/3 C. Hershey's special dark cocoa powder
3 C. powdered sugar
1/3 C. milk
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions:
1. Put melted butter into the bowl of a stand mixer. Hand-stir in cocoa powder. Alternately add powdered sugar and milk, beating to spread consistency. Add more or less milk to reach desired consistency. Stir in vanilla.

Makes approximately 2 cups of frosting.

Simply Slice and Bake

2010-10-13T15:19:00.013-05:00

Definition of simple: plain, basic or uncomplicated in form, nature, or design; without much decoration or ornamentation.

I'm a simple person, love simplicity, and am happiest when things are simple. Elaborate things do not make me happy. Great quantities of anything (unless it's a baking ingredient) make me feel claustrophobic. I don't like having posters and pictures hanging all over my bedroom walls. I adore basic, plain things-- wicker baskets, brown picture frames, necklaces made from hemp.

When favorite memories come to mind, they're simple ones. Walks through the forest preserve, movie nights with my mom and younger sister, sorting jelly beans with Ellie, piano lessons from my dad... those are the things I love. I like long talks with good friends. I like bonfires and roasting marshmallows on October nights. I like pink lemonade in glass cups on hot summer afternoons.

Sometimes nothing could make me happier than sunshine on my face. My contentment lies in simple things and I hope that never, ever changes.

I wish life could be more simple. I wish we didn't believe we need to always have shiny, fancy new things. I wish no one cared whether your clothes were modern and cute and fashionable. I wish we didn't believe we need iPods and cellphones, computers and laptops, dressers filled with clothes, or house decorations for each season. I wish life could just be simple.

Slice and bake cookies. So easy, so simple. You can make your dough days in advance, refrigerate the roll, and bake as many cookies as you'd like whenever you want to. You can use whatever recipe you'd like, form the batter into a roll, and wrap it in plastic wrap. Could it be any easier? Okay, I suppose yes. You could just buy pre-made, pre-cut dough. But this way is a little more fun I think.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

I used my favorite chocolate chip cookie dough recipe for these cookies. After I made the batter, I just spread the dough out and shaped it into a log, covered it with plastic wrap, and refrigerated it overnight. Nothing crazy or fancy.

Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients:
2 C. flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
3/4 C salted butter, almost completely melted
1 C. packed brown sugar
1/2 C. white sugar
1 Tbs. vanilla extract
1 egg
1 egg yolk
1 1/2 C. semisweet chocolate chips

Directions:
1. Mix together flour and baking soda. Set aside.
2. Cream together melted butter and sugars until well blended. Beat in vanilla, egg, and egg yolk until light and creamy. Mix in flour and baking soda. Stir in chocolate chips.
3. Take batter and spread onto a sheet of plastic wrap (you want it to be spread it fairly long). Roll into a log and refrigerate overnight or until firm.
4. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Unwrap dough and slice 1/2 inch-1 inch thick. Place on cookie sheet.
4. Bake for approximately 15 minutes. (If you try it a few times, underbaking the cookies slightly makes them softer and chewier) Leave on the cookie sheet for 5 minutes, transfer to wire rack, and let cook completely.

Healthy Oatmeal Pumpkin Muffins

2010-10-09T13:32:00.002-05:00

Time. We crave it. Wish it would slow down. Desire more of it. Waste it. Revolve around it. I always find myself wishing I had more me-time, and wasting that precious me-time when I do actually have it.

To say that recently my priorities have not been straight would be an understatement. I have made time for novels, but have neglected my school books. I have found enough time to make a disastrous mess of the kitchen but can't clean up that mess. I've been patient with every little child I've come into contact with, but not with my youngest sister (who probably needs to be shown the most patience). I've found time to be on the computer, but not enough time to have a verbal conversation with a friend. So not only has my schedule been a bit crazy, my priorities haven't been straight either.

Sometimes the things and the people you care about most end up being the thing you push to the side in order to get something else done. Priorities can easily and quickly become a little screwed up. This morning, I took a step back and looked at my life and what I have (or haven't) been making a priority. And, quite shamefully, I found that I've been neglecting some very important things and people.

And so, I hope to start out the week with my priorities set a little straighter. I want to be able to fall asleep at night saying, "Today I focused on what was important and left everything else to the side," Because I know that when I do keep my priorities straight, when I do take the time to listen to my little sister or study or clean the kitchen, I am more content and happy. I feel as if I made the most of the day, did something useful, had a purpose. I know it will not be easy, and I'm going to be nowhere near perfect at it, but it's a step in the right direction at least.

I made these muffins last week and have been meaning to post about them since. However, I obviously haven't gotten around to it until now. These muffins are healthy muffins... whole wheat flour, oats, a minimal amount of sugar. They're not the typical muffin (which tends to resemble more of a cupcake than a muffin). Our house was a bit divided on whether or not they were good, but if you're a bit of a health nut, then I'm sure you'll like these.

(click 'read more' for recipe)
Healthy Oatmeal Pumpkin Muffins

Ingredients:

for the streusel
2 Tbs. pumpkin puree
2 Tbs. honey
2/3 C. rolled oats (or quick cooking oats)
1/2 tsp. cinnamon

for the muffins
1 1/4 C. white whole wheat flour (or regular whole wheat flour)
1 1/4 C. rolled oats
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground ginger
1/8 tsp. ground allspice
1 C. pumpkin puree
1/2 C. mashed bananas
1/4 C. packed brown sugar
2 Tbs. canola oil
1 egg, lightly beaten

For the glaze
1/8 C. brown sugar
1 Tbs. milk
1 Tbs. butter, softened
1 Tbs. pumpkin puree
1/2 C. powdered sugar

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line a muffin tin with liners, set aside. In a large bowl, combine flour, oats, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and spices. In another bowl, combine the pumpkin, bananas, brown sugar, oil, and egg. Make a well in the dry ingredients and add the liquid mixture. Stir together until incorporated but don't over-stir.
2. Make streusel: combine pumpkin, honey, and cinnamon. Mix well then add the oats. Set side. Divide the batter evenly among the muffin tin and top with the streusel.
3. Bake 16-18 minutes or until done. Cool on a wire rack.
4. Make glaze: combine the brown sugar, milk, and butter in a small saucepan. Heat until the sugar is is melted. Pour into a small bowl. Let cool slightly then add the powdered sugar and pumpkin puree. Mix well. Glaze each cooled muffin with 1 tsp. of the glaze.

Homemade Pumpkin Puree

2010-10-04T15:51:00.002-05:00

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word autumn? Is it leaves? Sweaters? Back to school? Thanksgiving? Apple pies and pear crisps? Scarves and gloves? Or maybe it's pumpkins. That's the first thing that comes to my mind. Especially in October. To me, October is pumpkin month. They're out on everyone's front porches and steps. They're carved and placed in windowsills for Halloween. Pumpkin-shaped crafts at the front of the craft store. Cute toddler-sized shirts with little pumpkins on them are on the clothing racks in stores. Seriously, pumpkins are everywhere this time of year.

In addition to how pretty a pumpkin is sitting on someone's front steps or how cute a baby shirt with a little pumpkins on it is, I adore pumpkins because pumpkin flavored desserts are pretty high up on my list of favorite sweets. While some are completely repulsed by the idea of a pumpkin and cream-cheese crepe, I find myself fascinated with the idea and eager to try it. I've come to see that not very many people are neutral with pumpkin-- for most, it's a love or a hate relationship.

My dad is a good example of this. Pumpkin (and lemon) are the two things he absolutely does not like in a dessert. I have never in my entire life seen him eat a piece of pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. I made pumpkin cookies for the first time last year, and he tried one... only because I begged him (he then later said, "Those actually weren't too bad," but that's another story for another time). But me? A recipe with pumpkin (or lemon) has my immediate attention. My eagerness to try anything with pumpkin in it is great. So I tend to think that if you don't like pumpkin, it is a major dislike. And if you do like pumpkin, you're usually pretty crazed about it (though that's not always true, my sisters are an example of this).

Last year, I came across directions for how to make your own pumpkin puree. For a girl who would love to make everything from scratch, this made me as excited as a young child is on Christmas morning. I thought it would be hard, but really it's quite an easy process (though the pureeing part is a bit time-consuming).

This past weekend, I made pumpkin puree for the second time. And I took step-by-step pictures, so if you'd like to see how to make your own pumpkin puree, click the read more button down here.

What you need is: a pumpkin (of course) and a food processor.. okay, you also need an oven and a baking sheet and a knife and some water, but you get the idea. Ingredient-wise, you don't need anything other than pumpkin.

Step 1: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Sorry, I didn't get a picture of this part. But I'm sure you know how to preheat your own oven, right?

Step 2: Cut off the top of your pumpkin

Step 3: Cut your pumpkin in half

Step 4: Using a spoon (or knife or both) clean out all of the seeds and stringy slime inside of the pumpkin...

... so that it looks like this:

You can either (a) get rid of the pumpkin seeds or you can (b) save the seeds, dry them out overnight, mix them with 2 tsp. of olive oil, flavor them with salt and pepper and whatever else you like, and bake them at 300 degrees for 30 minutes. I prefer the latter.

Back to the pumpkin puree. Step 5: Cut the pumpkin into little chunks

Step 6: Bake the pieces of pumpkin in the oven (at 350 degrees) for 45 minutes or until a fork can slide through them easily (some pieces may take longer than others)

Step 7: Using a knife or fork, cut/peel off the skin of the pumpkin

Step 8: Continue with the rest of the pieces of pumpkin until your kitchen counter is a complete disaster like so:

Step 9: Cut the pumpkin into smaller pieces and put them in a food processor (or a blender)

Step 10: Puree the pumpkin until smooth. If it isn't pureeing smoothy, add a tablespoon of water at a time until it's smooth (don't use much over 3 Tbs. or it will become too runny. You want it smooth but thick). Getting the right consistency is probably the hardest part, but you get the hang of it after a few times.

Step 11: You can either use the pumpkin right away or you can empty the pureed pumpkin into a bowl and put it in ziplocs later, or you can put it in ziplocs right away. I've found that it lasts in the freezer for about 8 months. After that, it starts to lose its flavor.

And that is how you make your own pumpkin puree (canned pumpkin). I got about 8 cups out of the big pumpkin I used, but you can use smaller ones. I wouldn't go much bigger than ones you'd use to make a jack-o-lantern because you could start running into some weirder tastes.

Now that I have 8 cups of pumpkin to use up, be prepared for lots of pumpkin-flavored recipes to be showing up here over the next few weeks.

Pumpkin Cookies

2010-09-27T19:00:00.008-05:00

"I love the fall. I love it because of the smells you speak of and also because things are dying..."

I love this season. I love it for many reasons-- the colors, the smell, the coolness of the weather, the lovely evening sunsets, the dark mornings. I love this season for the baking-- apple crisps, pumpkin cookies, pear tarts, cinnamon swirl pound cakes, orange-cranberry muffins.

Autumn is a season where nature is dying, so to speak. Every colorful leaf on the ground leaves the tree it belonged to with yet another bare spot. The pretty yellow and orange and red and green leaves that are now above my head will be ugly brown piles beneath my feet in about 2 months. The grass is still bright green, but soon will lose its vibrant color. Blue-skied days will become sparse within time. Though I find autumn to be a completely beautiful season, autumn reminds me of death.

Autumn reminds me that all things have their time and that nothing lasts forever. Autumn prepares me for the bitter days that lie ahead. Autumn reminds me to always have joy. Autumn reminds me of many, many things.

But even in its death, autumn is beautiful. Autumn reminds me of the things inside of myself that I need to die to... selfish ambitions and thoughts and hopes and dreams that I need to let go of. Autumn is a beautiful reminder that dying to some of the things my heart holds dearest can be a breathtakingly beautiful thing.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Pumpkin Cookies

Ingredients:
1 C. butter, softened
1 C. sugar
1 C. canned pumpkin (NOT pumpkin pie mix)
1 egg
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. salt
2 C. all-purpose flour
----------------------------
3 Tbs. butter
4 Tbs. milk
1 C. confectioner's (powdered) sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1/2 C. brown sugar, packed

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cream butter, sugar, and pumpkin. Add eggs and mix well. Sift together the baking soda, ground cinnamon, salt, and flour. Add to pumpkin mixture and mix well.
2. Using a tablespoon, drop from spoon to cookie sheet (you have to sort of help the cookies take their shape. When you are dropping them from the spoon to the cookie sheet, there will be a pointy tip on the cookies that will still be there after you've baked them. Flatten this point out with a spoon before you bake them). Bake 10-12 minutes.
3. After your cookies are all done, make the icing. Melt butter, milk, brown sugar, and powdered sugar in a saucepan over medium heat until smooth. Remove from heat and add vanilla. Spoon over cookies.

Chicken and Noodles Soup

2010-09-19T21:27:00.002-05:00

Some of my favorite memories of being in the kitchen in the wintertime are memories of my mom in the kitchen standing over the stove making dinner. I can recall several nights in particular. One time, I sat on the kitchen stool, watching while my mom made soup. I walked over to look out the window-- wiping off the steam from the glass, I could see a blanket of white, sparkly snow covering the entire parking lot. Being in a warm kitchen on that night is a memory that has stuck with me for many years.

I like things like soup on nights like that. Nights where it is cold and your hands wrap around your soup bowl for warmth. Steam rises from the bowl to your face, its incredibly warmness such a comfort. Nights like that make me thankful for family, for my warm house, for my thick sweaters, for warm food on the dinner table. Soup. It's a comfort food.

I made soup tonight not because it is 32 degrees outside (though the weather has been a little cool lately) but because cold season has unfortunately struck early this year. Spending my weekend with a stuffy nose, sore throat, aching head and coughing has not been -to say the least- very pleasant. My weekend plans of running, baking, and studying quickly changed to laying on the couch or the bed, spending too much time on the computer, and feeling sorry for myself.

This soup didn't make my cold go away, but it brightened my day and reminded me of cozy winter evenings. So if you're a soup-lover, feeling a little under the weather, or maybe in need of a new recipe, you should give this one a try.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Chicken and Noodles Soup

Ingredients:
9 chicken bouillion cubes (equivalen to 9 tsp ground chicken boullion)
3 chicken breasts, cooked and diced (I wrapped mine in tinfoil and baked at 375 degrees for 40 minutes)
3 whole carrots, diced
3 stalks celery, diced
1/2 tsp. Turmeric

1/4 tsp. pepper (or most to taste)
1/4 tsp. ground Thyme
1 tsp. parsley flakes
16 oz. egg noodles (or any noodles of your choice)

Directions:
1. In a large pot, bring 17 cups of water to a boil. Add the chicken bullion and stir until dissolved. Add chicken, carrots, celery, and spices. Cover and simmer for 10 minutes over medium-low heat.
2. Increase heat, add egg noodles and cook according to directions (I added mine to the chicken-vegetables-spices mix and cooked for 20 minutes).
3. When noodles are done, let cool slightly. (If you want, you can mix 3 Tbs. flour with water to create a sort of paste and add it to the soup to make the broth thicker).

*Note:
Make sure you cook your chicken BEFORE you start boiling your water, otherwise you'll end up like me- having to reboil your water because you underestimated the cooking time for the chicken.

My measurements are not exact, so taste-test it and adjust it to your own likes. Also, my measurements on the amount of water I used is not exact. Use more or less depending on how thin/thick you want the broth to be.

Cinnamon Raisin Bread

2010-09-16T19:29:00.003-05:00

Where I'd like to be found today:

.. sitting crossed-legged on my bed, a book -be it about sewing, cooking, a novel, or a schoolbook- in my hands.

.. in the kitchen, with the hum of the aid-mixer and the smell of bread coming from the oven.

.. running, through a forest preserve or on the city streets, it doesn't matter.

.. at the piano, playing simple but beautiful music.

.. in my room, with the smell of an apple-cinnamon candle burning on the dresser.

.. by an open window, daydreaming.

.. walking home from the house of our friends, carrying two loaf pans they kindly loaned me.

.. anywhere, as long as I'm listening to this music by Thomas Newman.

.. snuggled in bed, exhausted but at peace.

Or in other words, exactly where I was today.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Cinnamon Raisin Bread

Ingredients:
1 1/2 C. milk
1 C. warm water
2 (.25) ounce packages active dry yeast (or 4 1/2 tsp. of yeast)
3 eggs
1/2 C. white sugar
1 tsp. salt
1/2 C. butter, softened
1 C. raisins
8 C. all-purpose flour
2 Tbs. milk
3/4 C. white sugar
2 Tbs. ground cinnamon
2 Tbs. butter

Directions:
1. Warm the milk in a small saucepan until it bubbles. Set aside and let cool until lukewarm.
2. Dissolve yeast in warm water and let stand until foamy. Mix in eggs, sugar, butter, salt, and raisins. Stir in cooled milk. Add the flour gradually to make a stiff dough.
3. Knead dough on a lightly floured surface for a few minutes. Place in a large, greased mixing bowl. Turn to coat. Cover with a damp cloth and let rise until doubled (about an hour).
4. Roll out on a lightly floured surface into a large rectangle 1/2 inch thick. Brush dough with 2 tablespoons milk. Mix together 3/4 C. sugar and cinnamon, sprinkle mixture on top of moistened dough. Roll up tightly. The roll should be about 3 inches in diameter. Cut into thirds, and tuck the ends under. Place loaves in a well greased 9x5 inch loaf pan. Brush tops of loaves with butter. Let rise again for 1 hour.
5. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes, or until loaves sound hollow when tapped/knocked. Remove loaves from pans and let cool before serving.

Shortbread Leaf Cookies (hopes for a long autumn)

2010-09-10T15:30:00.006-05:00

Autumn is in the air. And I absolutely love it. Jeans and sweaters are slowly replacing the shorts and tank tops in my dresser drawers. A cool breeze blows through the windows as warm sunshine falls across the room. The leaves are slowly but surely falling off the trees and the days are becoming darker earlier. There is a peace about the neighborhood with kids back in school. The sky is blue with brilliantly white clouds. It's absolutely lovely.

Autumn is probably my most favorite time of year. I look forward to carving pumpkins and going apple picking. I look forward to the colors (it's the one time of year the colors in my wardrobe actually go with the colors of the season). I look forward to decorating leaf and pumpkin shaped cookies. In all honesty, as much as I love winter, right now I am dreading it. I know that as more leaves fall off the trees, the less time I will have to enjoy this season. November will bring along Thanksgiving, followed closely by Christmas. and I'm not ready for winter just yet.

I want to enjoy the feel of the sun warming my face on a chilly afternoon. I want to rollerblade and run, spending lots of time outside. I want to bake pumpkin cookies and apple pies, not rush right into Christmas cookies. I'm allowing the idea of winter slowly approaching to spoil this season I'm in right now. I'm too preoccupied with worrying about the future to be able to enjoy life today. I'm not living in the moment.

Worrying about the future is rather exhausting. Being fearful of something that isn't going to happen for months is pointless. When the time comes for that thing you're worried about to happen, you will work through it (and, although it may be hard, it probably won't seem near as bad as what you imagined it to be). I'm finding -in many areas of my life- that I need to just live in the moment.

So right now, I am going to enjoy this season. I'm going to enjoy autumn and all that it brings... and when this season has passed and winter comes, I will enjoy that too.

Things I love about fall:
Absolutely lovely running weather
Baking and having the heat of the oven feel comforting and warm
The colors of the leaves on the trees
Wearing jeans and sweaters with flipflops
Cool breezes through open windows
The sunshine that comes into my room in the afternoons
Baking with nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger, and cloves
Going apple picking and carving pumpkins
Starting school -and routine- again

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Shortbread Cookies
Ingredients:
1 C. butter
1/2 C. sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 C. flour

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.
2. Cream butter and sugar until fluffy. Mix in the vanilla. add the flour and mix until combined.
3. Form dough into a ball and roll out on a lightly floured surface. Cut out cookies and place on baking sheet (sprinkle sugar on tops of cookies if desired).
4. Bake 9-12 minutes or until done (bake time will vary depending on the thickness of the cookies).

For leaf cookies: After the dough has been mixed, separate into 4 equal sections. Color each section individually by adding food coloring onto the dough and kneading until the color is evenly incorporated. After you've colored all four sections of dough, flatten them slightly. Lay out dough onto lightly floured surface so that the colors overlap each other halfway in the center (imagine cutting a square into 4 equal sections. They should be laid out similar to that, with their middles overlapping). Roll out completely and cut with a leaf-shaped cookie cutter. Draw in veins with a toothpick. Transfer to baking sheet. Combine dough in a ball and roll out again. Continue until you have no more dough.

My Very First Wedding Cake

2010-09-04T22:08:00.005-05:00

Of the many things weddings are, bittersweet is one of those things. Today we attended the wedding of a family friend-- a girl I've known since I was about 10 years old. It is strange to watch someone say, "I do," while being able to clearly recall days of playing dress up with her in the basement. Seeing this lovely young woman walk down the aisle, white dress and veil, while remembering the past was bittersweet.

When Nicole asked me to make her wedding cake I was, of course, very honored. She wanted me to make her wedding cake? She trusted me enough to make her wedding cake?! I was thrilled, terrified, excited, nervous, and honored. I don't think I could explain how much this meant to me (or how petrified I was).

I've never done anything as big as making a wedding cake. A homey, simple 1-tier chocolate birthday cake decorated with candles and a bright pink bow made out of fondant is not quite the same as a 3-tier wedding cake. I highly doubted that the bride and groom would've liked it if I had used multicolored sprinkles to try to make the cake's imperfections less conspicuous.

I don't know if you remember this disaster or not. After the teeth gritting, tears, and 15 hour day this cake put me through, I feared the same would happen with this wedding cake. I had myself convinced that I would completely ruin this wedding cake. I feared the morning of, I would be found in the kitchen in tears, devastated by the fact that I just destroyed a wedding cake.

But my fears proved to be in vain. The cake came together absolutely beautifully. Albeit there were a few stressful parts, but it was overall such a fun project to take on. I absolutely adore the color, the flowers, the ribbon, and the cake's overall simplicity. I think -out of all the cakes I've made so far- this one is my favorite.

The wedding too was absolutely beautiful. A day filled with much joy. A day spent remembering the past and looking forward to the future. It was a beautiful day. Nicole- growing up with you, knowing you, seeing you become an adult has been such a blessing. I hope and pray that you and Brandt have a wonderful and blessed marriage!

Healthy and Organic

2010-08-30T12:23:00.005-05:00

Mention anything along the lines of healthy, organic, or vegetarian and immediately you will have my undivided attention. Organic. It's a subject that completely fascinates me. I cannot say exactly why though. I suppose there are many reasons as to why I'm -as my sister says- a health freak.

I like the idea of knowing something good for me is going into my body. I like how, when I eat healthy and organic, my mood is so much better. I like going to Whole Foods on a more regular basis. I like being conscious of what I'm eating. I love to read the food labels on everything. To be honest, fresh vegetables and fruits, vegetable burgers and trail mixes, all those things taste good to me. And knowing they are good for me makes them taste even better.

I wish I could be completely organic all of the time. I wish the only things that filled the refrigerator and pantry of our house were organic items. But in reality, that would be very impossible. I would like to say that I eat 100% organic all of the time, but that would not be the truth. I can go about 3 days on only organic food before the Honey Bunches of Oats cereal in the pantry becomes the one and only thing I want for breakfast.

But I have found that -even if I cannot be healthy every single day of the year- I can try. And on those days where I have a chocolate chip cookie or macaroni and cheese or a bagel that is not whole wheat, it is okay. Just because I do have those things every so often doesn't make me 'unhealthy'. In the long run, I know having an occasional strawberry shortcake ice cream bar is not going to kill me. And so, I don't need to beat myself up about it (though that is easier said than done).

Combining healthy and baking is not exactly an easy task. Something containing butter and sugar is not very healthy, yet those tend to be 2 of the main ingredients in baking recipes. Not always, but at least half of the time it seems that way. And the reality is -as much as I love nutritious and healthy foods- I'm never going to give up baking. So my mission has been to have as many healthy baking recipes as I have not-so-healthy baking recipes.

I was browsing through one of my favorite food blogs and came across this recipe for sugar free cookies. Though I think all the recipes on this site are pretty amazing, this one really attracted me. A sugar free cookie, seriously? It immediately moved to the top of my "to bake" list.

This weekend I had time to do some baking and decided to give these a try. I grew more and more skeptical as the batter came together and the cookies came out of the oven. But, they were good. And they were even better the next day. The texture is not quite that of a regular cookie and they aren't as sweet (though they definitely do have a sweet taste to them). For being a healthy, sugar-free cookie, this family agreed that they were pretty awesome.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Nikki's Healthy Cookies (from 101 Cookbooks)

Ingredients:
3 large, ripe bananas, well mashed (about 1 1/2 cups)
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1/4 C. coconut oil, barely warm (or alternatively, olive oil)
2 C. rolled oats
2/3 C. almond meal
1/3 C. coconut, shredded and unsweetened
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. fine grain sea salt
1 tsp. baking powder
6 oz. chocolate chips or dark chocolate bar chopped (I'm think that next time, I will use raisins in place of the chocolate)

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place racks in the top third of the oven. Line baking sheet with parchment paper or grease very lightly.
2. In a large bowl, combine the bananas, vanilla, and coconut oil. Set aside. In another bowl, whisk together the oats, almond meal, shredded coconut, cinnamon, salt, and baking powder. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and stir until combined. Fold in the chocolate chunks/chips. (The dough is a bit looser than a standard cookie dough, don't worry about it).
3. Drop dollops of the dough (by teaspoon) onto the cookie sheet about 2 inches apart. Bake 12-14 minutes or for as long as possible without the bottoms burning. 15 minutes seemed to work just about right for me.

Happy Birthday Sarah!

2010-08-24T20:54:00.001-05:00

I've been putting off this post not because I don't want to write it. I want to write it, but I don't know how. How do I write about someone who is so complex? So hilarious? So serious? So random? So incredible?

Sarah. How do I describe her? Sarah is... unique. Sarah says the most hilarious stuff at the most random times. Sarah likes colored duct tape and bug necklaces. Sarah does things like paints artwork on her walls (and it looks good). Sarah is more in-style than I can ever hope to be. Sarah is an amazing guitarist with an amazing voice.

Sarah and I are very different... she loves to shop, my goal is to be frugal. Sarah dreads cleaning, I enjoy every minute (usually). Sarah is hip and modern and fashionable, I wear bucket hats and prefer to wear rather un-stylish clothing. Sarah is a naturally cool person, I am a complete and total nerd. I hate movies that are not realistic and verbally criticize them, Sarah tells me to "Shut up, it's a movie!"

Though we are very different in some ways, we are so similar in other ways. Sarah and I will laugh at the silliest, most retarded stuff-- laying on the bed, gasping for air, red-in-the-face laughing. And usually we are laughing at something that no one else quite understands or finds funny. Sarah understands my language of sarcasm and speaks it pretty good herself. Sarah and I share some similar worries. Sarah will straight out tell me if I'm wearing something hideously ugly. When I am goofy and crazy, Sarah is right along beside me doing the same thing. Sarah knows this bizarre, weird part of me that not many others get.

I love my Sarah. She is irreplaceable. She is my sister. She is my Sarah. I admire her, look up to her (both figuratively and literally), and hope to one day be half as cool as her.

Happy Belated Birthday to my dearly beloved Sarah!

For My Sister (Blueberry Muffins)

2010-08-13T15:56:00.003-05:00

This past week has been a quiet week. Sunday afternoon, all four of my siblings left for a 5-day camp up in Wisconsin. Since Sunday, the house has been quiet... almost eerily so. We ran the dishwasher twice this week (normally it gets run once a day), shoes have stayed put away by the front door (not scattered all over the house like they usually are), dishes were put in the sink (not right next to it), and cereal boxes closed up and put in the pantry (not left on the counter). It's been a wonderful week. A quiet, relaxing week I have needed for a long, long time.

My older sister, Rachel, had originally planned on staying home and enjoying this week with me. But as the date for camp got closer and closer, our church was short one counselor for the girls' cabin. And so my sister, selflessly and lovingly, volunteered to go to camp.

Goodbye to the quiet week she thought she was going to have. Her week would now be filled with caring for a group of 4th grade girls 24/7. Not much sleep, lots of walking and activity, mosquitoes and sunburns, complaining and whining voices, and exhausting days and sleepless nights would be the reality of the week.

Rachel loves blueberries; they are her absolute favorite. It doesn't matter if they're fresh blueberries, blueberry muffins, blueberry granola bars, blueberry fruit snacks, or blueberry cereal, if it's flavored like a blueberry, she loves it.

Although I may not be able to admit it out loud, I have missed Rachel. And I am proud of her for going to camp when she could've stayed home. So this morning, I decided to make her blueberry muffins to hae when she came home.... my way of saying, "I missed you. I love you. And thank you."

Though the week has been so beautiful and I've immensely enjoyed the silence and peace, I couldn't live as an only child. I'm looking forward to seeing the faces of my wonderful, lovely, irritating sibling. I'm excited to hear their camp stories and see their pictures and look at their crafts... and remember my own camp days.

I know I will get frustrated with them again. By Sunday morning I will be impatient and stressed, wondering how I could've possibly missed the loudness and chaos of 4 siblings. But deep down (it may be buried very, very deep down) I will be grateful and happy they are home. Welcome home Rachel, Sarah, Sam, and Ellie! You were missed!

(click 'read more' for recipe)
To make the buttermilk, simply put one (scant) tsp. of lemon juice into a measuring cup, then fill with milk until it's at the 1/3 C. line. Let this sit 5-10 minutes before adding it to the recipe.

Blueberry Muffins (slightly adapted from allrecipes)

Ingredients:
1 1/2 C. all-purpose flour
3/4 C. white sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking powder
1/3 C. vegetable oil
1 egg
1/3 C. butter milk
1 C. fresh blueberries

2 Tbs. white sugar
2 Tbs. brown sugar

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line muffin tin with papers or grease muffin pan.
2. Combine flour, sugar, salt, and baking powder. Place vegetable oil into a 1 cup measuring cup; add the egg. Then add enough of the buttermilk to fill the cup (may need more than 1/3 cup). Pour this into the flour mixture and stir until just combined. Fold in the blueberries.
3. Fill the muffin cups with batter and sprinkle with the white sugar-brown sugar mixture. Bake 20-25 minutes, or until done.

Baby Shower Sugar Cookies

2010-08-10T08:21:00.002-05:00

I have to admit that lately, I've been at a loss as to what to write on this blog. Up until now, the writing came easy. It was just.... natural. But, partly because of my recent decision to go to Africa next summer, I can't think of anything to say. How do I write about the chicken fried rice I made last week when what I really want to write about is how I'm looking forward to playing with little African children? I don't think about banana bread, I'm too preoccupied about the idea of living with other youth for 4 weeks. There are so many different decisions that need to be made between now and next June, the things I've baked have seemed unimportant.

It's not just with writing, it's happened with everything. For the past few weeks, my mind has been elsewhere.... in a daydream... like I can only focus on one thing and that one thing is my mission trip to Africa. But life is finally starting to become more normal again. Please forgive me if I haven't seemed interested in what you're talking about. Really I am, it's just this decision (with all its excitement and scariness) has pretty much been all I've been able to think about since mid-July.

It is not the excitement of going on this trip that is slowly wearing off, it's the newness. The excitement is strong as ever. As the months pass and the date draws closer, my excitement will probably only grow (as will my fear, but that is another story for another time).

It's funny how, when someone or something is new, you can become all wrapped up in that thing/person. You can not see anything else for quite some time. But then the newness wears off a little, life becomes normal again. That happens to me with sugar cookies. I've made Christmas sugar cookies so many times there's nothing new about them- I know which designs I'm going to do, there's no drawing out ideas on notebook paper, no need for different cookie cutters. I still love making sugar cookies in the shapes of light bulbs and snowmen and snowflakes and stars, and I have fun doing it, but it's not so new.

These baby shower sugar cookies were new and exciting and different. I've never made baby-themed sugar cookies before, so these were incredibly fun. Fresh ideas, brand new cookie cutters, arranging and rearranging the cookies in the basket... it was a delightfully fun way to spend my quiet Monday afternoon. And the fact that they were for a loving, wonderful group of moms made it all the more worth it.

Ugly Brownies

2010-08-06T23:01:00.006-05:00

I love to rollerblade. It's one of my most favorite summer activities. When I was about 13, my family went to the park one evening- some on rollerblades, some on bikes, some walking. The second we got to the park I took off (on my rollerblades) for the track, leaving everyone behind. My goal? To double and triple lap everyone. As a result of my very fast speed, halfway around the track I fell. I cut my knee wide open. The cut was so deep that my parents contemplated taking me to the hospital (however I adamantly refused). The cut took weeks to grow a scab and had to be wrapped in layers and layers of gauze. For the first week, whenever something lightly brushed the bandages I cried out in pain.

Today my knee is healed and functioning perfectly fine, but it is still damaged. There is a scar on my knee that -although it has faded- will never go away no matter how much time goes by. Whenever I wear shorts or a skirt above or at the knee, I am reminded of that summer night, of my competitiveness, of my need to be the best. In a way, this scar exposes my pride and competitive personality to everyone. My scar, my pride... so ugly, so obvious.

This past winter, I decided to see if I could find the ultimate brownie recipe. What started out as an innocent obsession quickly turned into a competition. I had to be able to make the best brownies. Ever. I wanted to be able to make brownies that people ranted and raved about for days afterwards. I wanted my brownies to be hands-down the best. As the months went on and I tried countless brownie recipes (my family loved that) I began to despise brownies. They were no longer a sweet and wonderfully delicious treat but rather something that brought out the ugliness inside of my heart.

I am a competitive person. I am a perfectionist. I like to be the best. And I feel like a failure when I am not. I struggle with wanting to be the best daughter, best sister, best niece, best friend, best granddaughter. Daily I strive to be the smartest, the thinnest, the fastest, the nicest, the most lovable. I want to be the best piano player, the best baker, the best photographer, the best cook, the best runner, the best babysitter.

My pride, my competitiveness, and my desire to be the best are ugly personality traits I unfortunately must admit to having. It's a daily struggle, a painful reminder... this pride. It's something I fear I'll have a hard time with for the rest of my life. My pride and absurd desire to be perfect and to be the best needs to be broken. I am, after all, a mere human. What do I have to boast in?

I need to trust that even though I can't be the best at everything, my family and friends will love me just because I'm me. I'm beginning to see that I need to accept myself even when I don't meet my own standards of perfection. And so, I strive to let go of my pride... to not be so obsessed with getting the highest score in scrabble, to not kill myself running that extra mile and trying to run it faster, to accept the fact that I cannot always be perfect and that is okay.

I need to let go of wanting to make the world's best brownies ever.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Although these brownies might not be the ultimate brownie, they are pretty darn good. They're gooey with pieces of chocolate chips hidden inside. They're cake-y yet fudge-y at the same time. And they're loaded with sugar and butter so you can't exactly go wrong, can you?

Ultimate Brownie

Ingredients:
1 C. butter, melted
3 C. white sugar
1 Tbs. vanilla extract
4 eggs
1 1/2 C. all-purpose flour
1 C. unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp. salt (if butter is salted, decrease to 1/2 tsp salt)
1 C. semisweet chocolate chips

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly oil a 9x13 inch baking dish.
2. Combine melted butter, sugar, and vanilla in a large bowl. Beat in the eggs, one at a time mixing well after each addition.
3. Sift together the flour, cocoa powder, and salt. Gradually stir the flour mixture into the chocolate mixture until blended. Stir in the chocolate chips. Spread batter evenly into the prepared baking dish (will be thick).
4. Bake in the preheated oven 35-45 minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. Remove from oven and cool before cutting. Dust with confectioner's sugar if desired.

Peanut Butter Cookies

2010-07-24T17:54:00.003-05:00

Indecisive: characterized by indecision; irresolute; undecided. Or in other words... me.

I hate making decisions. Ask me a question (such as, "What do you want to do?") and I will generally dance around an actual answer. My responses are along the lines of, "Well, what do you want to do?" or "I'm fine with doing whatever." Sometimes, to me it truly does not matter one way or the other. Other times I do have an opinion but am too fearful to say it. And there are times when I just don't know.

Tough decisions... they tend to bring along lots of uncertainty, fear, and confusion. For the past week (almost two now) I've been in a decision making process. The weight of this decision has seemed so large that it's all but completely consumed my every thought. This decision has kept me awake at night, thinking and wondering. It's left me imagining my future and how my life could be radically changed because of one decision.

This decision has been difficult not exactly because I don't know what to do, but because of fear. Though I am slightly unsure of what I want to do and what would be best, deep down I know what I will choose. Though I struggle, I can see that beyond the fear and beyond the uncertainty and beyond the difficulty of this decision, deep down I already know what to do... this wavering back and forth is just fear. A fear that will diminish once there's an official decision.

Because of all this, blogging was unfortunately set to the side. Our church's VBS was this past week and so things have been rather crazy. But hopefully the craziness will die down and blog posts will happen on a regular basis again.

Despite my obsession and love for all things with peanuts or peanut butter, I've never made peanut butter cookies before. I've contemplated the idea, set aside recipes, and gotten to the point where I have the recipe printed and ready to go, but I never follow through with it. Something distracts me or I find some reason not to make the cookies, and the recipe is left on the kitchen counter.

Generally putting nuts in desserts is not something I like to do. I love to eat almonds and peanuts alone, but in a cookie I find them unattractive. It's the same with peanut butter. It's perfect on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but in a cookie? Not so great. I had peanut butter cookies as a kid one time. I remember taking one bite of the cookie and being so grossed out I spit it out and threw the rest away. After making this peanut butter cookies, they don't seem so terrible. They're still not a favorite of mine, but they're not the 'take one bite and spit it out' cookie that I had imagined them to be.

(click 'read more' for recipe...)

I found this recipe on 101 Cookbooks (an incredibly lovely blog). I was super excited to see that they were more of a healthy cookie. No butter, no eggs, no white sugar. I was completely amazed and decided I had to try and make them. Be careful not to over bake them. I messed up over half of my batch of cookies because I let them stay in the oven too long.

Peanut Butter Cookies (slightly adapted from 101 Cookbooks)

Ingredients:
2 C. whole wheat pastry flour
1 tsp. baking soda
3/4 tsp. sea salt
1 C. peanut butter
1/4 C. maple syrup
3/4 C. honey
1/3 C. extra virgin olive oil
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place racks in top third of oven (I had a problem with the bottoms of my cookies burning, so I reduced the oven temperature to 325 degrees).
2. In a medium bowl, combine flour, soda, and salt. In a separate bowl, combine peanut butter, maple syrup, honey, olive oil, and vanilla. Stir until combined.
3. Pour the flour mixture over the peanut butter mixture and stir until barely combined (still a bit dusty looking). Let sit for 5 minutes, give one quick stir, and drop by teaspoonfuls onto a baking sheet. Press each cookie down gently with a fork (It's a loose batter so if you're set on doing criss-crosses, refrigerate the dough for an hour or so before this step).
4. Bake for 10 or 11 minutes, don't over-bake or they will be dry. (I found that baking my cookies for 8 or 9 minutes was enough time). Let sit on cookie sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to wire rack.

Homemade Poptarts

2010-07-14T23:25:00.004-05:00

Random and spontaneous are two things I most definitely am not. I like knowing what's going to happen way in advance. If there are events going on or people coming over or something that needs to get done, I have to be warned way beforehand. Spontaneous things freak me out. I like schedules, I like knowing things. In bed at night, I tend to think about my upcoming day. I've got it all planned out-- everything from how many miles my run is going to be to whether or not I'm going to work on math or chemistry to what I'm going to eat at what specific time. I like knowing what's going to happen.

I hate having an event popped on me at the last minute. If I find out one morning that we have to go out to a friend's house that night for dinner or go to the store, I get flustered. I plan out whether or not I'm going to cook dinner and, if someone else cooks, it throws me off. I have a hard time getting together with a friend if I haven't planned for it 12 hours in advance. When things don't go according to my schedule, it's rough for me. There are rare times when I actually do something random (going out to the Cheesecake Factory at 9:30 at night would be one of those things). Surprisingly, sometimes the random things you haven't planned for turn out to be some of the best times.

Patience is another thing I struggle with. I like knowing things as far in advance as possible, but I also am not a patience person. If there is something I'm excited about and looking forward to, it's difficult for me to wait for the time to come. I'm happy that I know what's coming, but I'm upset because I have to wait so long. It's kind of a catch-22.

My impatient attitude goes deeper than just waiting for a certain moment in time to come. When I write an email, I want a reply within 5 minutes. My foot taps my chair anxiously as my hand keeps pressing the 'get mail' button over and over and over again. On days I'm in a cleaning mode, I stare at the dishwasher waiting for it to finish so I can unload it. I lack the ability to wait very long. At times, I tend to get impatient with baking-- especially when what I'm making needs to sit and be left alone for a while. My heart sinks just a little bit when I realize something has to be refrigerated for 30 minutes before I can continue on with the recipe. Usually recipes like this get pushed to the back of my 'To Try' pile and end up never getting made.

My impatience has become even more obvious to me within the last week or so. I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for a reply from a friend I sent an email to. Rushing to the computer after being out all day or getting excited when I see I have a new email only to discover it's not who I want it to be from. My lack of patience is a problem but I hope that, over time, patience will become a quality that defines me. As of now however, impatience would be a more accurate description of myself.

These homemade poptarts were spontaneous and needed to sit in the 'fridge for a while. It was sort of a double whammy-- something I hadn't planned for and something that required a little patience on my end. They're not quite like the packaged poptart you buy in the grocery store, but I think they're better. The crust is flaky and similar to that of a pie crust in both texture and taste. They were totally worth making... you just have to occupy yourself for the 30 minutes they need to sit in the refrigerator.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Being a lover of brown sugar cinnamon poptarts (yes, I'm one of the few people who actually prefer that flavor over the strawberry) I had to make them with a cinnamon-sugar filling. However, next time a strawberry filling would fun to try.

Homemade Poptarts

Ingredients:

Pastry
1 C. all-purpose flour
1 C. white whole wheat flour
1 Tbs. sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 C. (2 sticks) butter, cut into pieces
2 eggs
2 Tbs. milk

Cinnamon Filling
1/2 C. brown sugar
1 tsp. ground cinnamon (more or less depending on your personal preferences)
4 tsp. all-purpose flour

Brown Sugar Icing
1/4 C. brown sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 Tbs. milk
1/2 C. powdered sugar

Directions:
1. Make the dough: whisk together the flour, sugar, and salt. Work in in the butter with a pastry cutter until only pea-sized lumps of butter are still visible. Whisk together ONE egg and the milk, then stir them into the dough. Knead and divide the dough in half.
2. Shape each piece into a rectangle and roll it out until it's about 1/8 inch thick. Cut out eight 3 x 4.5 inch rectangles (reroll dough if necessary). You should have a total of 16 rectangles once all the dough is rolled out. If you need to, between rolling and cutting, freeze the dough to firm it up a bit and make it workable.
3. Place half (8) of the rectangles on a lightly greased baking sheet. Brush with the remaining egg. Top with approximately 1 tablespoon of the Cinnamon filling (to make the cinnamon filling, whisk together the brown sugar, cinnamon, and flour). Then, take one of the rectangles that has not been brushed with egg and place it on top of that. Using your fingertips, press firmly around the edges of the dough, sealing the dough well on all sides. Press with a fork all around the edges. Prick eat tart on the top to allow steam to escape (otherwise your tarts will puff up and become 'pillow like').
4. Refrigerate the tarts for 30 minutes (you can preheat your oven during this time). Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes. Cool on a rack. Once cool, you can top with brown sugar icing.
5. To make icing: combine brown sugar, cinnamon, and milk together in a small saucepan. Stir until dissolved. Remove from heat and whisk in powdered sugar. Spread on top of tarts.

Homemade Marshmallows

2010-07-10T10:02:00.003-05:00

I'm slightly obsessed with homemade items. It's probably good I don't know how to work a sewing machine and that I don't follow through with a lot of my knitting projects because otherwise the majority of my wardrobe would be handmade... and I'd spend the majority of my time making homemade things. Particularly with food, if it can be homemade then I'm trying it. I have recipes for homemade pasta noodles, applesauce, flour tortillas, and salad dressing. I've made my own veggie dip, pizza sauce, and crackers. I just... love homemade things, it's how I am.

I get frustrated when a recipe claims it is from scratch then calls for a can of Campbell's Tomato Soup. "Campbell's is not from scratch, so why does the recipe say it's from scratch?" I'll whine. I realize the impossibility of making everything from scratch and although very few things in my life are 100% homemade, I still entertain the thought of doing things like making my own jam and peanut butter.

By now, you may have noticed on the list of desserts on the side of my blog. It's pretty self-explanatory-- it's a list of things I've never baked before, but want to try (and get right). This list started on rather cold, gloomy afternoon last winter. I was browsing through allrecipes and some online blogs, bored with how I rarely made anything new and exciting. I started coming across things like tiramisu and peanut brittle, thinking how those things would be so fun to make. So I started writing these desserts down and before I knew it, I had an entire list of desserts (a list that is continuously growing).

The desserts with the asterisk marks (**) are desserts I had on the original list and then have made. You can read those posts here and here. Unfortunately I've just realized I didn't write a post for the angel foodcake and granola bars. Getting an attractive picture of granola bars has been harder than what I originally thought. So please bear with me for a while, I promise there will be posts of these soon (hopefully very soon).

I decided to make something different this week and after scanning through this list, decided marshmallows would be fun. When I originally found out you could make your own marshmallows, I was thrilled. Come on, homemade marshmallows? How cool is that?! The sugar-syrup mix and the gelatin getting whipped in the aid-mixer is probably the most exciting. Slowly increasing the speed and watching as this thick, watery mixture turns into a very thick, white, sticky marshmallow paste is very neat. My sister came into the room while this was happening. I was bouncing on my heels barely able to contain my excitement as I dragged her over to the mixer to show her what was happening. "Look!" They're homemade marshmallows!" I yelled loudly, partially because the hum of the aid-mixer but most because I was caught up in my own ecstasy. She looked at me like I was a crazy person. "But Sarah!" I said, "They're HOME MADE MARSHMALLOWS!" She didn't seem to quite understand why I found this so incredibly amazing.

I find marshmallows slightly nasty-- their gooey texture, the way they stick to the roof of your mouth. Eating something I can play with and practically shape into something beforehand grosses me out. But these were pretty good. I'd like to see how they roast over a fire because they'd make for some pretty awesome s'mores. Coloring them --either one solid color or giving them a marbled, swirled effect-- is also something I want to try in the future.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

I wanted to use these marshmallows to make something for a friend with allergies to corn. The Lyle's Golden Syrup and potato starch could probably be replaced with regular corn syrup and corn starch, however I haven't tried it yet so I don't know for sure.

Marshmallows (from kidswithfoodallergies)

Ingredients:
3 packages unflavored gelatin
1 C. water, divided
1 1/2 C. granulated sugar
1 C. Lyle's Golden Syrup
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla (or peppermint) extract
1/4 C. corn-free confectioner's sugar
1/4 C. potato starch (or tapioca starch or arrowroot starch)
Oil
Food coloring (optional)

Directions:
1. Combine confectioner's sugar and starch in a small bowl. Lightly oil a 9x13 inch pan. Dust liberally with the sugar/starch mixture. Make sure to coat the bottom and sides of the pan completely. Save the excess sugar for later.
2. Place the gelatin in the bowl of the stand mixer. Add 1/2 cup water.
3. In a small saucepan, combine the remaining 1/2 cup water, granulated sugar, golden syrup, and salt. Bring just to a boil. cover and cook 3 to 4 minutes. Covering will help wash down any sugar granules from the sides of the pan. Uncover and clip on a candy thermometer. Continue to cook until the mixture reaches 240 degrees F. Immediately remove from heating, but be careful not to jostle the syrup too much (if it jostles too much, it could form crystals which is what you don't want).
4. Using a whisk attachment, turn the mixture on low speed. Very slowly pour the sugar syrup down the side of the bowl into the gelatin. Try not to pour onto the whisk attachment. Do not scrape the last of the syrup out of the pan, just pour as much as will come out. After all the sugar syrup has been added, slowly increase your speed to high.
5. Continue to whip until the mixture is very thick and the bowl feels lukewarm. This will take about 12-15 minutes. Add your flavoring during the last minute of whipping.
6. To add solid coloring: add a small amount of liquid, paste, or powdered food coloring during the last minute of whipping. For marbled, swirled effect: swirl in a small amount of color as you are scraping the mixture from the bowl into the prepared pan.
7. Pour/scrape the mixture into the prepared pan using a rubber spatula (oil if necessary). Spread evenly in the pan (or as evenly as possible). Dust the top with enough of the remaining sugar/starch mixture to lightly cover. Save the rest for later. let the marshmallows sit uncovered for at least 4 hours (or as long as overnight).
8. Turn the marshmallows onto a cutting board and cut into 1 inch squares (you can use a regular knife or a pizza cutter). Dust your knife/cutter with sugar/starch mixture if needed. Store in an air tight container.

Father's Day Baklava

2010-07-06T10:10:00.008-05:00

There's so much my dad has done for me... He has the answer to any and every computer problem I have. He opens the pool for us kids despite the fact that it's Father's Day (his day). I have many great memories of when we would play tickle monster with him. Memories of joyous screams, lots of laughter, little feet running around, jumping on the couches in excited fear, and stealing pillows. They are such fun memories that at 17 years old, I still smile thinking about it.

My dad has shared with me one of the greatest gifts I could ever ask for-- the joy of music. Being taught by him is something so special, something I cherish. Sometimes it takes me 10 minutes to get part of a song right, but his patience is endless. Having him say that a song I've chosen to learn is "a really good piece" means the world to me.

To hear him play is wondrous. His music quiets my heart and fills me with so many different emotions at once. To explain what I feel when I hear him play would be so impossible; it is simply something you must experience for yourself. Whenever I see him sit down at the piano in our dining room, I smile. Even the cat sits quietly under the table and watches him as he plays. The way he makes a piano come alive is absolutely beautiful. To see him play, to watch him pour his heart and soul into his music is utterly breathtaking.

My dad supplies baking ingredients of all kinds. At times I ask for very random, sometimes rather expensive ingredients and he always does his best to get what I ask for. My dad doesn't really care for fruit-flavored desserts-- lemon pound cake, banana bread, black raspberry jam bars, apple pie, and so on. And the desserts I love the most are ones that are fruit flavored or have fruit in/on them.

There are some exceptions though, my lemon bars and pumpkin cookies to name a few. However I always feel bad, slightly guilty, when I put lemon extract in something or top a dessert with strawberries. My dad has never, ever discouraged me from baking something because there's fruit in it. He is supportive and willingly tries whatever I've made. There are times he likes something so much he'll come back for a second piece. But there are some things I make that -although he really likes it- inside I know he doesn't enjoy it quite as much as he could if there wasn't any fruit in it.

Baklava is a favorite dessert of my dad's. For Father's day, I was dead-set on making this dessert for him. It would be something he could totally, completely enjoy-- the honey syrup, the walnuts and pecans, the paper-thin phyllo dough... it would be perfect! I was so excited to make him something that he would absolutely love. I was almost more excited about making it than he was about being able to try it.

Unfortunately when Father's day came around, I couldn't find phyllo dough at our grocery store down the street. I briefly considered making my own but without a pasta maker, I wouldn't be able to roll the dough thin enough. I thought for sure the dough wouldn't be hard to find, but we ended up going to 3 different stores before we found it. So the baklava didn't happen until last night-- 2 weeks past Father's day. But my dad absolutely loved this baklava... and that means I did too. To hear him declare it as "some really good baklava" made me as happy as a little kid on Christmas morning. When I bake, I bake for others to be able to enjoy something and to love it so much that they wouldn't want anything about it to be changed. So it was definitely worth the 2 week wait. And as that saying goes, better late than never, right?

So this is my belated post Father's day post for my dad. Such a wonderful, amazing, loving father I couldn't ask for better. Happy (belated) Father's Day to my Daddy! I love you!

(click 'read more' for recipe)

In making this baklava, this was my first time using phyllo dough. I was so incredibly nervous. I knew it was paper-thin and I feared ripping it. I feared using too much butter and ruining the entire dessert. At first it was too dry, then I almost made it too soggy. I didn't let my dough thaw long enough and as a result some of it stuck together when I tried to lift the sheets. I was not a happy person in that moment, so a word of advice: take the dough out way before you plan on making this (I'm thinking thawing it out in the refrigerator the night before you plan on using it would be a good idea). You can use whatever nuts you like for this. I used a mix of walnuts and pecans, but next time I may use pistachios.

This the the original recipe I used and (along the side) the changes I plan on making next time.

Baklava (slightly adapted from allrecipes)

Ingredients:
1 (16 oz) package phyllo dough, thawed
1 pound chopped nuts, approximately 4 cups (next time I'm going to use 2 1/2 - 3 cups)
1 C. (2 sticks) butter, melted (next time, 3/4 C. or 1 1/2 sticks)
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 C. sugar
2 C. water
2 C. granulated sugar
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 C. honey

Directions:
1. Make the sauce: boil the 2 cups of sugar and water in a saucepan until sugar is dissolved. Add the vanilla and honey. Simmer for about 20 minutes, the sauce will be fairly thin/watery. Set aside.
2. Butter the bottoms and sides of a 9x13 inch pan. Chop nuts (if you like them finer, grind them in a food processor). Toss the nuts with cinnamon and the 1/4 cup of sugar. Set aside.
3. Unroll your phyllo dough. Cut the whole stack to fit the pan. Cover the dough with a dampened cloth to keep it from drying out as you work. Place two sheets of dough in the pan, and brush some of the melted butter on it. You don't want tot use too much butter or it will bake soggy, but at the same time too little butter and it won't taste quite right. After the initial 2 sheets are in the pan, you want to place one sheet of dough in the pan followed by a layer of butter.
4. Continue the dough-butter layers until you've used up half of the phyllo dough (if you dough comes in two separate rolls, then one whole roll). Sprinkle the 1/2 the nut mixture and spread evenly. Top with two sheets of dough, butter, and the rest of the nuts. Add another 2 sheets of dough and brush with butter. Then start the one sheet of dough and brush with butter pattern again until all your dough is gone.
5. Using a sharp knife, cut into a diamond pattern, but don't cut all the way through to the bottom (you want the sauce to seep into the layers and not run directly to the bottom of the pan). Bake the baklava for 50 minutes (or until it is golden and crisp) at 325 degrees.
6. Remove baklava from oven and immediately spoon/pour the sauce over it (if you don't like your baklava very soggy, use only 1/2 - 3/4 of the sauce). Let cool and then cut all the way through. Serve in cupcake papers.

Freedom In Dancing

2010-07-04T18:30:00.005-05:00

"I have never been one to get out on the dance floor and let loose. Yet I have always wanted to be the one out on the dance floor letting loose. I watch with envy at those who can confidently, without the aid of any alcohol, walk out on the dance floor and get down. I love it. They exude confidence, a spirit of joy and freedom. And I want those things. I think about what my life would be like with more confidence, more joy, and more freedom. I would be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend."

I found these words on a blog several weeks ago. I don't remember why I wrote them down, but I did. And after forgetting about them, this past weekend I came across that paper in my desk drawer. These words, quite honestly, made me think.

There are very few times I dance. Only a handful of people have ever seen me dance... and even then it is still a little odd (in a funny-scary sort of way). I find it uncomfortable and awkward to dance in the presence of others. I can't really explain why, but dancing is something I rarely do. I'm not very coordinated-- my dance moves are awkward and jerky, not flow-y and graceful as they should be. I'm too self-conscious and fear making a fool of myself in front of others. I wonder what people will think of me if they see me dancing.

Some days, it's better if I just don't dance. Some days, I don't want to dance. And usually on those days, it's then that I need it the most.

Last week, while babysitting for a sweet little 2 year old, I did dance. Spinning and swinging with her in my arms, our giggles and laughter louder than the music, her excited pleas for "More more more!" It was a delightful time. There was a feeling of freedom, of joy, and of release in just dancing. Letting go of worries, letting go of a stressful day, letting go of everything I held inside and just focusing on the little one in my arms while we danced was so incredibly freeing. A picture of the two of us in that moment would do it more justice than my words.

However, even when you do dance, it eventually comes to an end. And all you have is the memory of the dance and how wonderful it had been. Worries, stress, and life stifle you once again in a hard grip. After a while, you forget about that dance. You forget that you could very easily dance and let the same feelings of freedom and joy and release overcome you again. Sometimes -though you briefly entertain the thought of dancing- you're too caught up in your worries to let them go.

Imagine yourself, filled with confidence and joy, out on the dance floor just letting go. Imagine what you would feel. Imagine your carefree, light-hearted attitude encouraging those who are timid and shy, holding onto their stress and their worries, out onto the dance floor with you. What would our lives look like if we could just dance without ever stopping?

And so today, my mind is filled with many thoughts. Thoughts of freedom, thoughts of a radical change, thoughts of letting go... thoughts of dancing without ever ceasing for the days to come.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

I found directions for making this cake last year... two days after the 4th of July. I was so bummed. If I'd found it days earlier, I could've made this cake for a family barbeque we went to. But I waited, at times patiently and other times not so patiently, for July 4th, 2010 so I could make this cake.

After I got through the initial freak-out of two of the cake middles getting stuck to the inside of the pan, this cake was a blast to make. It seems like it would be rather hard, but it really wasn't. You can find the directions for it on Elissa's blog (17andbaking.com) The cream cheese frosting is probably the best part of the cake (besides how incredibly cute it looks when you cut into it). Even if it's not to go with the flag cake, you should use this recipe next time you need cream cheese frosting.

Cream Cheese Frosting (from Joy of Cooking)

Ingredients:

8 oz. cold cream cheese

5 Tbs. unsalted butter, softened

2 tsp. vanilla extract

4 C. powdered/confectioner's sugar

Directions:

1. Beat the cream cheese, butter, and vanilla in the bowl of an electric mixer just until blended. Slowly add the powdered sugar and beat just until smooth and the desired consistency. Do no over beat.

Thankful for Pretty Cupcake Boxes

2010-06-27T21:53:00.004-05:00

I have this problem. You see, I've always admired people who are optimistic, who are cheerful, happy, joyous. I love the way their happiness spreads to my own heart. I love how I can't help but be happy along with them. But I am not a happy person. I'm a complainer, a "Debbie-Downer", a person who focuses on the negative. It's not that I can't see the good in a situation, it's that I choose not to.

I complain about my hair, even when I'm not having a bad hair day. I complain about the weather, even if it's sunny and warm out. I complain about my schoolwork, even though I am homeschooled. I complain about having to load the dishwasher, even though having a dishwasher in itself is a luxury. I complain about living in the city, even though our neighborhood is totally great. I complain about lots of things just because. Some days I complain just because I wake up every morning and have to get out bed, even when the day holds nothing but staying at home. To say I am a screwed up, totally wacked out person would probably be an understatement :)

It's a terribly awful thing to be so negative and to complain so much... yet I don't want to let it go. Truth be told, I like hearing the sound of my own voice complaining (even if it's mentally complaining to myself). But this attitude? These thoughts? They're wrong, so wrong. I know there are many who would trade for my life in a heartbeat.

I have a friend who's birthday is tomorrow. Because I was going to see this friend this evening, I wanted to make her some cupcakes. Unfortunately I didn't realize we were completely out of eggs until this afternoon. In a bind, I asked our neighbors if I could use 2 of their eggs. I was sent home with a dozen. These friends are used to me knocking on their door in a panic, desperately in need of a baking ingredient (it's usually either butter, eggs, or milk). On average, they give me some sort of ingredient or loan me some sort of pan or utensil every other month.

Walking home with that carton of 1 dozen eggs in my arms, I realized how lucky I am to have friends like that. How thankful I am for them... and how often I take them for granted. Today they gave me so much more than a dozen eggs. They opened my eyes a little bit more. They showed me just one more thing I take for granted. They gave me the opportunity to be thankful.

At least for today, instead of focusing on the negative -which is what I had started to do this morning- I found things I was grateful for. Today was filled with so many lovely, wonderful things... and I'm glad I didn't miss out on any of it.

I'm thankful...

... for a family who loves me even though I'm weird, mean, and retarded

... for blue skies and sunshine (and sunscreen and bucket hats)

... for pretty yellow and gray tank-tops

... for neighbors who give me a dozen eggs when I'm in a bind

... to be able to hear a family friend, my dad, my sister, and my sister's boyfriend sing and play music at the park for all the little kiddos

... for the many laughs I shared with great friends this evening

... for pretty colored cupcakes boxes filled with vanilla cupcakes

... for a wonderful friend who's birthday is tomorrow

Pad Thai for a Picky Eater

2010-06-24T14:52:00.004-05:00

Picky eaters, food snobs... nobody likes them. There's always that one person at the dinner table who turns up their nose at a perfectly good meal. Or, when you're with a group of friends, a certain one person who refuses to eat anything. Picky eaters, food snobs... they suck the fun out of things.

I have to admit that I'm a picky eater... okay, and a food snob. I turn my nose up at almost anything made with ground beef. That enchilada casserole my family loves so much? Yeah, I've basically labeled it disgusting. I refuse to touch almost anything that contains sour cream and I've decided that mayonnaise is complete, utter nastiness. I can't handle the texture of scrambled eggs or the feel of baked apples in my mouth-- it makes me gag. And if you flavor my mashed potatoes with anything but onion powder and salt, I will most certainly throw a fit.

I'm that person in the group who, when you go to order pizza, keeps everyone from getting all the flavorful, fun toppings like pepperoni, mushrooms, green peppers, onions, and so on. Spicy foods are a rarity for me. Drinking anything but water, apple juice or pink lemonade is craziness in my opinion. I become very obsessed with what I eat.... or what I don't eat. Yes, I think I can officially be labeled as a food-snob/picky-eater/plain-food-only person.

I'm the girl who would eat a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich every day for lunch if she could. My favorite cereal is multigrain cheerios, but it has to be with skim milk only. I would be fine with cheese and crackers for dinner almost every night. I love strawberry yogurt, but no fruit chunks in it please. Trail mixes of peanuts, almonds, and assortments of dried fruit are the perfect snack. And hey, when I do decide to eat a turkey and lettuce sandwich, please don't ruin it by saying I should put cheese and mustard and tomato on it.

Sometimes though, I step out of the whole picky eating and simple foods thing. I'll eat my grandma's green pepper soup (however at first I wasn't too happy about trying it). I like honey-mustard chicken and sometimes actually ask to have corn casserole (you know, the one made with sour cream?) I demand that my grandpa make his special dressing every year at Thanksgiving even though it has chunks of onion and tons of different flavors and spices in it.

I've come to realize I am a plain, simple person who likes plain, simple things. Whether it be clothing styles or colors, piano pieces or my daily schedule, what I eat or what I do, I like it to be plain and simple. But I'm working on being more open to foods that are 'different' (or rather, actually have some sort of flavor to them). And Pad Thai is a food that's a little different. I can honestly say this was good, even though the recipe called for fish sauce and red pepper flakes and paprika. Whether it's food or going places or meeting people, I'm realizing that new and slightly different things are good things. If you don't ever try or do something new, you miss out on a lot.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

When I started making this, I wasn't very sure how it was going to turn out. The smell of the fish sauce mixture and rice vinegar doesn't smell so lovely, but it's good once it's all combined together. This turned out good-- scrambled eggs, paprika, and all. I did have a bit of a problem with the noodles being dry and slightly hard but I might not have let them soak in the cold water for long enough. I originally planned to use tofu instead of chicken, but at the last second I realized our tofu had expired. Because I didn't have enough time to defrost chicken, I used canned. It worked great (it was actually Ellie's favorite part of the dish) but next time I'll cut chicken into strips and use that instead. I also added a little bit of soy sauce to both the sauce and the noodles.

Sukhothai Pad Thai (adapted from allrecipes)

Ingredients:
1/3 C. white sugar
1/4 C. rice vinegar
1/4 C. fish sauce
Juice from 1 lime
1 (12 ounce) pack dried rice noodles
1/2 C. peanut oil
1 Tbs. garlic powder
3 eggs
1 1/2 C. ground peanuts
less than 1/4 tsp. red pepper flakes
1 Tbs. paprika
1 lime, cut into wedges
1 can chicken, drained

Directions:
1. To prepare Pad Thai sauce: In a medium saucepan over medium heat, blend sugar, vinegar, fish sauce, and lime juice.
2. To make Pad Thai: soak rice noodles in cold water until soft; drain. In a large skillet or wok (I used a skillet) over medium heat, warm oil and add garlic and eggs; scramble the eggs. Add noodles and stir until cooked (I had to add almost 1/2 C. water because my noodles were so dry).
3. Stir in Pad Thai sauce, chicken, peanuts, and red pepper flakes. Remove from heat and add paprika. Add lime wedges before serving.

New Cookbooks (and Blueberry Banana Bread)

2010-06-23T08:47:00.008-05:00

Several weeks ago, I received a gift card to a mall (Old Orchard). This mall is a big mall, an outdoors mall, filled with many, many stores. When I started thinking about where to spend this gift card, I knew there was only one place-- Williams-Sonoma. So yesterday my mom, sister, and I headed off to this mall. (Here is where I would insert all the details about why a 3-hour shopping trip is way too much time to spend shopping and why it is very torturous, but I will spare you those rather boring details)

First we went into a clothing store my sister wanted to check out. I was becoming more and more impatient as she tried on a few things then switched and tried on a few other things. The cute tank tops and pretty skirts had only distracted me for so long. After taking forever (alright fine, maybe it wasn't forever) in American Eagle, we started walking to the Williams-Sonoma. "Yes, finally.." I thought. But we passed by another store my sister wanted to go into. Necklaces, bracelets, hair bows, hats, nail polish.... this was far less distracting than the clothes store had been. But thankfully, my sister didn't take too long and soon we were on our way to Williams-Sonoma. Again.

Williams-Sonoma. Complete, utter amazing-ness. I could've spent forever in that store, but now it was Sarah who was growing slightly impatient (though she knew to expect this, after all it was our main reason for going). I looked at the cutting boards and popsicle makers longingly and knew my gift card was not going to go too far in this store. I wanted the mixing bowls and measuring spoons, the griddle and the dutch ovens, the adorable dish sets and all of the polished, shiny pans to be in my own kitchen. Alas, I decided to split my gift card between this store and the bookstore. As I walked up to the counter, I had one sole item: a tart pan. Though it was small and insignificant compared to the 12-cup food processor, I walked out happy and content with my tart pan.

Our last stop- Barnes and Nobles bookstore. I had been in this particular store only once before, yet I knew exactly where to go to find the wall where all the cookbooks were. After seeing all those cookbooks, I was so gone. My sister and mom knew not to even follow me. They looked around in the kid's section for a book for my little sister Ellie, knowing I would take a very long time. I pulled off book after book, going through shelf after shelf, trying to decide which 2 books I wanted. I finally decided on two: The Joy of Cooking and Whole Grain Baking.

It is probably silly to see a 17-year old get so incredibly excited over cookbooks, but cookbooks really do get me excited. I read through cookbooks like you might read through a novel. Starting on the first page and going through recipe after recipe. I do skip around, but eventually I have literally read through that entire book. The back section --with its desserts and breads-- is my favorite, but I love going through the whole book.

I'll leave you with this recipe for Blueberry Banana Bread that I made last week. But you can expect to see lemon-raspberry cakes made with whole wheat pastry flour (I was pretty excited about that) and focaccia and apple tartlets on here pretty soon.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Blueberry Banana Bread (from Baking Bites)

Ingredients:
2 C. all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1 C. sugar
3 Tbsp. vegetable oil
2 large, ripe bananas mashed (about 1 1/4 cups)
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 1/3 C. blueberries

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9x5 inch loaf pan.
2. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt. In a large bowl, combine sugar, vegetable oil, egg, vanilla, and mashed bananas until smooth. Add in flour mixture and stire until just combined and no streaks of flour remain. Fold in blueberries with a spoon or rubber spatula, then pour the batter into prepared pan.
3. Bake for one hour (or until toothpick inserted into the center of the loaf comes out with only a few moist crumbs attached). Cool bread in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely before slicing.

Grandpa

2010-06-19T23:14:00.004-05:00

Although we often call visits to see my grandparents "going to Grandma's house" the house is as much Grandma's as it is Grandpa's. For as many memories that I have of doing things with my grandma, I have just as many with my grandpa.

There was the time when we went down to visit my grandparents one summer and my grandpa gave my sisters and I our own baseball gloves with balls. Grandpa spent hours in the backyard with us playing catch, even in the heat. He patiently put up with the 'way off' throws little girls tend to make. Years later I still have that baseball glove. Though faded, the letters ANNA Grandpa wrote on the side of the glove are still there.

Grandpa has shared with me his love for gardening. For as long as I can remember, Grandpa has been growing things like tomatoes and green peppers and other sorts of vegetables. Today he talked about the raspberry plants he planted in his garden last year and how they've started to grow wild. Listening to him talk about how the raspberries were taking over his garden stirred in my heart the desire to grow vegetables again. I decided not to plant my garden this year (a first since I was 13). But now I'm looking forward to next spring-- digging my fingers into the soil, weeding and watering, seeing things grow. I want to pick cucumbers, impatiently wait for tomatoes to turn green, I want to bring fresh green beans to the dinner table again. I'm anxious to have raspberries and rhubarb growing in my own garden next year.

Each year at Thanksgiving, I look forward to the dressing Grandpa makes. I'm not a fan of dressing (actually, it's one my least favorite dishes) but Grandpa's dressing is a totally different story. It's the main thing I look forward to at the Thanksgiving dinner table. I remember being about 7 years old the night before Thanksgiving watching Grandpa chop onions at the kitchen counter. I remember the sting of the onion in my eyes, Grandpa's big, strong hands stirring everything together, Grandpa and I sneaking just a bite of the dressing before it was put away for Thanksgiving lunch the next day.

I love waking up at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Much like myself, Grandpa is a morning bird. I love waking up to the scent of Grandpa's coffee drifting into the bedroom. I smile, knowing that I will find Grandpa sitting in the kitchen with his coffee mug and his bowl of cereal. I'll sit with him at the kitchen table, watching the birds at the bird feeder. When you sit at that table with Grandpa you feel so important, in that moment you are the only person who exists. The smell of coffee gives me such a comfort, knowing that when you're sitting in the early morning with Grandpa, everything is okay.

My memories could go on and on-- the Not To Worry plaque hanging on my wall that Grandpa made for me the summer I was so worried about having to face my new 4th grade teacher, roasting marshmallows around the fire while camping with my grandparents, listening to Grandpa read Twas the Night Before Christmas every year on Christmas day, walking with my sisters and Grandpa at Perry Farm. My grandpa is so special to me and has helped me become the person I am today. Happy Birthday and Happy Father's day Grandpa! I love you so much!

Piano Recital Cupcakes

2010-06-13T20:53:00.007-05:00

When you're playing in a piano recital, being last can be pretty bad. With each pianist that gets up there, the pounding of your heart increases and your nerves get more and more on edge. Your hands are shaking, cold, and sweating beyond control. When there's two people left before your song, you don't even hear what's being played. Your main focus is getting up there without tripping, playing your song without forgetting a part, and getting off that stage as fast as possible.

As your name is called, you barely hear the applause. So far you've made it up the steps without falling. That in itself is a major accomplishment considering your fear of tripping in front of everyone. Your hands shake ever so slightly as you settle your hands on the keys. For a brief second (which seems like an eternity) your mind goes completely blank. What song are you supposed to be playing again? But then, your hands start playing the song you've practiced over and over again for weeks now. You make some mistakes but the thudding in your chest has slowed down. The piano keys feel familiar again, comfort. Slowly you forget about the audience of eyes watching you.

You're overwhelmed with beauteous, wonderful relief once you look up and realize you finished. Albeit you made some mistakes along the way, but you survived. You can breathe easy again, you're done with this for another 6 months.

There's something about performing in front of an audience that makes everyone freak out. When you think about it, it's really quite odd; that fear. Because when you're listening to someone else play, you understand when they make a mistake and, to be honest, you don't think twice about it. You feel badly for them, holding your breath until the song continues. In your mind, you're begging them to go on, to not be so nervous, to just relax. But suddenly when it's you in the spotlight you forget those people are probably thinking the same thing for you. Relax, don't worry, we all mess up.

As you've probably guessed, I played in a piano recital this weekend. And it was I with the sweaty hands, the racing heart, the shaking fear. And it was I who could breathe easy again once it was over with. I always have a hard time with recitals and performing for people. Generally there are two times which the fear is the biggest: the day before the recital and then again 2 hours before it's time to play. To make the day before a little less traumatic and worrisome, I bake.

Weeks before this recital I was trying to decide what dessert to make. I had made keyboard and music note sugar cookies before and I couldn't repeat it already. A piano cake would take too much time, be too exhausting, and too hard. I decided on cupcakes. As I google-searched ideas, I didn't find any I was particularly fond of. I refuse to completely cover things in fondant so that cut my possibilities in half. Another thing to consider was that I needed to make 40 cupcakes so the design couldn't be too complex.

Dyeing the fondant black for these cupcakes was a major huge pain. However, I will say it was totally worth it. Next time though, I'll frost some of the cupcakes with chocolate frosting and make the letters white-- pink food coloring is not very forgiving and my pink stained palms can attest to that.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Classic Yellow Cake Recipe

Ingredients:
12 Tbs. (1 1/2 sticks) butter, softened
1 1/2 C. sugar
2 C. all-purpose flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt (omit salt completely if your butter is already salted)
3 whole eggs
1 egg yolk
3/4 C. milk
2 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter two 9-inch baking pans or one 9x13 inch baking pan.
2. Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. In a separate bowl, stir together flour, baking powder, and salt. In another separate bowl, mix together milk, eggs, egg yolk, and vanilla. Add 1/3 of the flour mixture to the butter mixture then add half of the milk mixture. Continue to alternate beginning and ending with the flour mixture. Scrape bowl often.
3. Pour batter into the prepared pan(s). Bake cake(s) 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick interested in the center comes out clean. Cool completely.

*This cake is dense, not light and fluffy like most yellow cakes. It's not a super-sweet cake but in my opinion that's better because frosting tends to be pretty sweet so that balances it out.

*The recipe didn't have directions for cupcakes, but I just lined 24 muffin cups with papers and baked them for approximately 15-20 minutes.

Sugar Cookies

2010-06-11T08:55:00.015-05:00

Whether it's 2 miles or 5, on the treadmill or outside, I love to run. I guess you could say it's where I find my peace, how I clear my head, get some alone time. However, as in love with running as I am, sometimes I overdo it to the point where I no longer have that desire to run. I did that the other week and, as a result, I didn't run for the next 8 days. Each morning I'd wake up, and each morning my beloved running shoes remained at the back of my closet.

But Sunday morning I woke up desperate to run. 8 days without running was far too long, mentally and physically I craved that run. I easily fell into my pre-run routine as if I'd been doing it all week long. There's no way to describe exactly what you feel when you put on your running shoes after they've gone unworn for so long. Just trust me when I say it's a beautiful feeling.

I slide on my running shoes, the way they feel so right just makes me smile. I realize how much I love (and have missed) this. With my headphones in, I put Nickleback's "Far Away" on loop, knowing full well that I will tune the song out after it's played through twice. After 2 minutes, my feet find their rhythm. My mind begins to go still. When I run nothing else -and no one else- exists. There's something beautiful about running that I can't quite capture and put into words. But there's that stillness in my head, that pounding of my feet, that pattern of my run that is just... so peaceful.

An hour passes by before I realize my legs are starting to shake, my lungs are bursting for air, and my heart is racing like mad. I notice my iPod is still playing the same song and the battery is half-gone. The feeling of 5 miles under my feet is so exhilarating I get completely lost in it. I can't imagine why at first I didn't want to do this and swear never to go a week without running ever again.

When I make sugar cookies, the same thing happens. I tend to do things like make 7 dozen sugar cookies in a matter of two weeks after not making any sugar cookies for months. Like running, I burn myself out with sugar cookies sometimes. But picking up a pastry bag or rolling out dough after months of not doing it makes you realize how much you really do love it (even though you'll say you hate it after you've done 5 dozen cookies).

It's the same with sugar cookies as it is with running- I settle into my rhythm, my pattern, my 'groove'. Roll, cut, cookies on the tray, tray in the oven, tray out of the oven, cookies onto the cooling rack again and again. George Winston's "December" album fades into the background as my mind becomes so focused on piping and flooding and decorating. I don't realize my exhaustion until the cookies are almost done. Before long, 4 dozen cookies have covered every inch of counter space in the kitchen.

I get enjoyment out of these activities (running and baking sugar cookies) but sometimes forget why I love them so much. Sometimes you don't realize how much you love something until you haven't had it or done it for a while. But then, when you do run or make sugar cookies, you realize just how beautiful something so simple can really be.

Goodbyes

2010-06-09T18:44:00.002-05:00

Today was the last day of school for a co-op I work at. From 10-12 on Mondays and Wednesdays, my mornings are filled with playing with some of the cutest kiddos. I always look forward to seeing those 8 happy, smiling two-year-old faces. The way those little ones can brighten your day is pretty unbelievable.

The end of the year is always bittersweet. Saying goodbye to these kids is always so hard. I know that although we've spent an entire year together -playing, laughing, crying, singing, reading- they won't remember it. Summer is filled with promises of many fun times and lots of sunshine. When September comes, these kids will be talking full sentences, going on the potty, tying their own shoes, and drinking without sippy cups. They'll be big boys and girls.

Watching them grow up is an experience filled with much joy. Part of me wants these little ones to stay little forever in their tiny, cute, huggable little bodies with their high-pitched, baby-like voices. But they're growing up, getting older, and doing things by themselves just like they're supposed to do.

I'll miss my Monday and Wednesday mornings with these kids. I'll miss reading truck books with Charlie, pointing out the cement mixers and monster trucks. Jake won't tug me over to the train table asking to help him find Thomas the train. Leila won't break out into a big grin and run across the room to say hello to me. Abby's sweet little voice won't called out, "Watch me Anna!" as she goes down the slide. Cooper won't walk over to me with a big grin on his face, his hands in his pockets as he pulls out two cars. Leann won't look across the room and smile mischievously as she takes her shoes off and runs around, waiting to be caught. Gunnar's dash in and freeze move he does every morning he comes in will be no more. The games of peek-a-boo Matt and I play are a thing of the past. All these weekly occurrences that I used to look forward to will be but memories I hold near to my heart.

But I'll look forward to September, seeing these kids grow up more and meeting the new class that will spend the year in the nursery. I know I will become just as attached to the next group of kiddos as I was with this year's. And I know my heart will break all over again when next June comes around and I'm saying goodbye again. Despite the heartbreak that comes with the goodbyes, getting attached to these kids -loving these kids- is above and beyond worth it. When I remember some of my most favorite memories from the past year, I realize these kids have put such a joy in my heart... a joy I will try to hold onto and remember forever.

I made these smiley face cookie pops as a goodbye gift for these preschool kids. Cookies on sticks are a fun twist on the regular sugar cookie. Cookies on sticks make for a fun little gift no matter what the age or occasion. If you were given a cutely decorated cookie on a stick, I'm pretty sure it would bring a smile to your face too.

The Fear of 100% Whole Wheat Bread

2010-06-04T15:39:00.011-05:00

Fear. It can paralyze and completely consume you at times. I have many fears, some silly and some not so silly. But I can easily pick out which of my fears is the greatest-- a family member in a situation where no one has any idea of their whereabouts. One of my loved ones going missing is my all-time greatest fear.

I remember very clearly the day I understood bad things (like people going missing) happen. I was 11 years old and setting the table for dinner. In the kitchen I heard my mom gently but firmly explaining to my little brother why he could not go outside alone and without telling anyone (which is what he had just done). Her words were not anything I hadn't already heard, she was simply telling him what all parents tell their children about stranger danger. But the reality that things like that happen hit me... hard. When I went to bed that night, I sobbed for hours. My poor parents, unable to console me no matter how hard they tried, had no idea what I was so upset about.

This fear began spiraling out of control. I was afraid to go to sleep at night, making my mother promise over and over again to stay awake until I was asleep. I begged my dad to go downstairs and double (more accurately would be quadruple) check and make sure the doors were all locked. I constantly searched the house to make sure everyone was inside and I watched my siblings like a hawk whenever they went outside. I began placing boxes of my brother's legos on the step in front of our attic door, just so I could be sure that if the door opened in the middle of the night everyone would wake up.

After many months, my fears lessened though they were never gone. This fear is stronger at some points, but it always accompanies me. It has been hitting me especially hard again, maybe because it's summer and everyone is constantly inside and outside. For nearly two weeks, I've awoken to find my face soaked with tears after dreaming I hid my brother in a closet to keep him safe. Or like last night, a dream filled with me running and screaming, unable to find my littlest sister. I wake up and -seeing her soundly sleeping next to me- my racing heart slowly returns to normal. I lay there grateful her feet are kicking my stomach and hug her all the more tightly in the morning.

Though a missing person fear is far greater than the fear of making wheat bread, I have to say that making wheat bread frightens me. I tried it once and the result was a bread very sour and very dense. But, after some time, I decided to try again. I used a recipe from Erica Lea's blog (she has a very lovely blog. If you haven't stopped by it, you definitely should. Lovely recipes and lovely photos, it's amazing!) and I'm very glad I chose her recipe. This bread turned out beautifully. Some ate it plain, others toasted with strawberry jam, and others made peanut butter sandwiches out of it. It got high approval from all 7 people in this house which is hard to get at times. This recipe is definitely one to keep!

(click 'read more' for recipe)

100% Whole Wheat Bread (from cookingforseven)

Ingredients:

1 1/2 C. lukewarm water

3 Tbs. olive oil (or melted butter or coconut oil)

2 Tbs. honey (or molasses or maple syrup)

3 1/2 C. hard white whole wheat flour

1 Tbs. vital wheat gluten

2 Tbs. flax meal (optional)

1 1/2 tsp. salt

1 1/2 tsp. instant yeast

Directions:

1. Combine all of the ingredients and mix them until you have a shaggy dough. The dough will seem wet but remember: wetter is better. Let the dough rest, covered, for 20 minutes. Knead until smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes. Allow the dough to rise, covered, for 1 to 2 hours (or until it's puffy and nearly doubled in bulk).

2. After the dough has rise, gently deflate it and shape it into a log. Place in a lightly greased 9x5 inch bread pan. Cover the pan with a towel or lightly greased plastic wrap and allow it to rise in a warm place for about 30 minutes-1 hour (until it's crowned about 2 inches over the rim of the pan).

3. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. If desire, brush top of the loaf with milk (or egg white) and sprinkle with oatmeal, poppy seeds, nuts, etc. Bake bread in preheated oven for 45 minutes or until turns a deep brown and sounds hollow when tapped.

Chocolate Crinkle Cookies

2010-06-01T09:12:00.005-05:00

Sugar cookies, gingerbread cookies, snowball cookies, and chocolate crinkle cookies seem (to me) to be some of the 'signature Christmas cookies'. Cut out in shapes of trees, ornaments, stars and then decorated with colored icing and sprinkles or covered in powdered sugar or filled with cinnamon and other spices. When I think Christmas cookies, I picture decorating sugar cookies with my little sister while Christmas music plays and -looking out the window- you see snow falling softly as it gets later and later into the evening.

It always happens in the summer. I always start thinking about Christmas cookies. I get out our "Gifts from the Christmas Kitchen" book, vowing that this is the year we're giving home-baked gifts to our friends. I google search different Christmas cookies, looking through recipes (with pictures) of all-time favorite Christmas cookies. I start daydreaming about how in early December, on chilly evenings, I'll make gingersnaps or snowball cookies. The house will be peaceful and still while the little ones make their Christmas loops, the sound of their muffled laughter heard in the next room. The cozy smell of nutmeg and cinnamon will draw everyone into the kitchen as the scent fills the house. Once they're done, cooled but still very warm, the cookies will be enjoyed with milk or hot chocolate and the Christmas lights will twinkle in the background.

Add in someone playing Christmas songs on the piano while everyone sings with perfect, on-pitch voices and you have yourself a scene from a movie. The reality of my Christmas cookie making is this: I whip up an occasional batch of gingersnaps (usually during the day), rush around late at night trying to finish decorating sugar cookies for a friend (silently chastising myself for not starting earlier), and that gingerbread house I wanted to do? Yeah, never happened. That was how last year went, but I'm holding out hope that next year will be different.

I made these chocolate crinkle cookies last Monday. It was one of the hottest days we've had so far and, to top it all off, our AC wasn't working. The younger 2 were running inside with wet, muddy feet from playing in the kiddie pool outside. A 2 year old walked around yelling and joining the chaos of the house. It was hot enough without the oven turned on, yet I had the absurd desire to make these cookies!

But I'm a pretty insane, weird, and totally random person so no one in our house was too surprised to see me baking in the kitchen. Delicate, tiny cookies covered in powdered sugar... could anything be more perfect (or more Christmas-y)? Everyone agreed these were good so, if you're like me and (on June 1st) are dreaming of the different kinds of Christmas cookies you want to try making, add these to your list of things to bake this coming winter.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Chocolate Crinkle Cookies (from allrecipes)

Ingredients:

1 C. unsweetened cocoa powder

2 C. white sugar

1/2 C. vegetable oil

4 eggs

2 tsp. vanilla extract

2 C. all-purpose flour

2 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. salt

1.2 C. confectioner's sugar

Directions:

1. In a medium bowl, mix together cocoa, white sugar, and vegetable oil. Beat in eggs one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Combine the flour, baking powder, and salt; stir into the cocoa mixture. Cover dough and chill for at least 4 hours.

2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper. Roll dough into 1-inch balls. Coat each ball in confectioner's sugar before placing onto prepared cookie sheets.

3. Bake in preheated oven for 10-12 minutes. Let stand on the cookie sheet for a minute before transferring to wire racks to cool.

Honey Wheat Bagels

2010-05-30T08:42:00.006-05:00

Last week, I spent my Saturday baking in the kitchen-- no surprise there right? The kitchen is probably my favorite room. I am just slightly obsessed with the kitchen. I like organizing my (labeled) pull-out drawers high up in the pantry (so no one can reach them) that contain my sprinkles and food colorings and cookie cutters and pastry bags and other things. I like scrubbing my cookie sheets and cake pans spotlessly clean (and cry when there's a stain on them that I can't remove). I like sweeping the floor and then hand scrubbing it to spotless perfection. Naturally it does not stay spotless; within a matter of 10 minutes, someone has walked in through the backdoor with wet, muddy feet. I organize the silverware drawer, the pantry where all our bowls and casserole dishes and pots are, everything. If someone has loaded the dishwasher and the dishes aren't in the 'right' spot, I rearrange the dishwasher loaded with dirty dishes. I have an OCD when it comes to the kitchen.

Within the past few months, I have had this growing fascination with whole wheat flour that has lead to many other things. Eating healthier has become more and more important to me. Using honey instead of sugar, substituting whole wheat flour when the recipe calls for all-purpose, adding flaxseed or wheat germ, and using coconut oil are changes that I have made with some recipes.

Just recently, I have become even more aware of why it's important to eat healthy. My mom and I watched a movie that has made me fearful of ever baking anything with sugar or all-purpose flour ever again. There's nothing like hearing about how chicken and cows are treated, or finding out how many pesticides cover blueberries and peanuts, that make you never want to eat ever again.

Despite some things I have recently discovered, I still do want to bake. But I've become afraid that I'll never make things like lemon bars or chocolate cake because they aren't healthy. If my baking is stripped from me, I honestly don't think I would know what to do. I love being in the kitchen, I love baking, I love having people enjoy things I bake. So I've decided, instead of being one extreme or the other, I'll find a balance between the two. Peanut butter bars and chocolate crinkle cookies will still be in my recipe book along with healthy granola and honey wheat bagels... balance.

Getting back to my Saturday morning with these bagels. These were great! They tasted good and overall were pretty easy. I feared the bagels would turn out either mushy or too bread-like. I feared they would go rotten because everyone would refuse to eat them. But the 12 bagels that I made were completely gone by Sunday morning and everyone pronounced them "good".

(click 'read more' for recipe)
Honey Wheat Bagels

Ingredients:
3 to 3 1/2 C. whole wheat flour
1 C. all-purpose flour
2 1/4 tsp. (1 package) yeast
1 1/2 C. warm water
3 Tbs. + 1 Tbs. honey
1 1/2 tsp. sea salt

Directions:
1. Stir together 2 cups of the whole wheat flour, the salt, and the yeast. Add in the warm water and 3 Tbs. of hone. Gradually add in the remaining 1 cup of wheat flour and 1 cup of all-purpose flour (add the extra 1/2 cup if needed).
2. Dump it out and knead the flour in until the dough is smooth and elastic. Cover the dough and let it rest for about 10 minutes.
3. Divide the dough into 12 equal parts. To shape the bagels: Shape each piece of dough into a nice ball. Stick your finger in the middle of the ball and pull it apart to create about a 2 inch hole. (unfortunately I can't give any suggestions or tips on how to shape the bagels. My brother thought the bagels were donuts. The poor boy was devastated to find out they weren't). Continue shaping until all the bagels are formed. Let them sit for 20 minutes.
4. (After the 20 minutes are up) Bring a pot of water to a boil and stir in the remaining 1 Tbs. of honey. Turn the broiler of your oven on and broil your bagels for 2 minutes on each side. Put 4-6 bagels in the water, turn down the heat and simmer for 7 minutes, turning the bagels over once during that time. Drain them on a towel and repeat with the other bagels.
5. Bake at 375 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until the tops are golden brown.

Small, Simple Things

2010-05-19T22:29:00.006-05:00

I'm sure you can recall many days and weeks you've had where nothing seems to go right. You're busy, you're tired, you're stressed, and everything continues to go the opposite way of how you'd like things to go.

I've had quite a few days like that within the past few weeks. I was continually finding myself upset and frustrated and sad and tired with everything. I remember one day in particular had been pretty rough. I had just babysat all day, was exhausted, and walking home. My head was down, I was ignoring the speeding cars and people walking, entirely caught up in my own problems. At one point, I looked up and happened to make eye contact with a kind, smiling face. All this stranger did was simply smile and say "I hope you have a nice day." but that brief 3 second interaction made the gray skies of my day fade (even if it was just temporarily). It filled me with hope and comfort, those innocent words and genuine smile. I walked the rest of the way home with a smile on my face... and weeks later am still remembering this stranger and their kindness.

Sometimes it's the small, simple things --like a stranger saying hello or hearing a favorite song being played on the radio or talking with a dear friend-- that take us by surprise and bring smiles to our faces when we're having a crummy day. In the end, it's the simple things that mean the most.

Apple pie seems pretty simple to me. After all, it's just apples and cinnamon. There are no extravagant flavors and the finished product is very humble in appearance. But there's comfort in its simplicity. The smell of the cinnamon and apples baking smells wonderfully homey and brings many wonderful memories to mind.

I'm sure this stranger has no idea the impact they made because of their words. It's amazing the things that mean the most to us. The things that bring us comfort and hope, the things that mean the most to us, almost always turn out to be the little things. And that, in my opinion, makes them the big things.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

Apple Pie

Ingredients:

-for the pie dough-
3 1/2 C. flour
2 Tbs. granulated sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
3/4 C. (1 1/2 sticks) very cold butter, cut into 1/2 inch pieces
1/2 C. very cold water

-for the apple filling-
6 large, tart apples
1/2 C. firmly packed light brown sugar
2 Tbs. all-purpose flour
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions:
1. First, make the pie dough: in a large bowl, combine 2 1/2 cups of the flour, the sugar, and the salt. Drop the butter pies into the flour mixture. Using a pastry blender (or two knives) work the butter and flour together. (if using two knives, cut in by drawing the knives in opposite directions through the butter/flour mixture) Keep cutting into the butter until the mixture looks like coarse crumbs with only very small pieces of butter still visible.
2. Pour the cold water over the top of mixture. Stir gently until the mixture forms moist crumbs. Dump the crumbs onto a work surface and divide into two equal piles. Using your hands, press each pile of crumbs into a flat disk. Wrap each disk separately with plastic wrap and refrigerate until well chilled (at least 30 minutes or up to 2 days).
3. Make the apple filling: peel and cut the apples into 1/2 inch thick slices. Combine in large mixing bowl with the brown sugar, cinnamon, flour, and vanilla. Stir until well blended.
4.To assemble and bake the pie: remove the dough from the refrigerator. Set a 9-inch pie dish on a baking sheet and preheat oven to 400 degrees.
5. Sprinkle the work surface with flour. Unwrap one disk of dough and set it in the middle of the floured surface. Using a rolling pin, gently flatten the disk. Sprinkle the top of the dough with a little more flour if needed. Roll the pin over the dough to the far outer edge. Give the dough a little turn to the right and starting from the center, roll again. Repeat until you have a large circle about 14 inches in diameter.
6. Roll the dough over the rolling pin and, with the pie dish close by, lift the dough over the pie dish. Slowly unroll the dough so it covers the dish and hangs over the edges. Using your fingertips, gently press the dough into the dish. Pile the apple filling into the dough-lined dish and set aside.
7. Repeating the rolling procedure with the second disk. Once your second disk is on top of the pie, press together the edges of the top and bottom dough circles. Using scissors or a knife, cut away the excess dough but leave a 1 inch border. Roll the border under itself so it rests on top of the dish rim. Cut 3 small slits into the top crust.
8. Bake in preheated oven until the top is brown and the apples are tender-- about 1 hour. To test pie, insert a knife into one of the slits. The knife should glide easily into an apple slice. Cool on a rack until ready to serve.

Happy Birthday Sammy!

2010-05-13T20:40:00.003-05:00

My brother Sam has always been 'my baby' from the moment he was born. I spoiled him, pampered him, played with him, and loved him. Maybe it's because he was my first -and only- little brother, maybe because he had dark hair just like mine, I don't know why, but from the moment he was born he was mine. Growing up, we were best buddies.

We're still buds, only not the same as when he was 3. Now, he doesn't like being called Sammy (which is what I always called him). I'll still call him that -sometimes on purpose and sometimes on accident- and he lets me get away with it. He doesn't play with his spy kid toy figures or like being hugged by his older sister in public or agree to do something just because I think it's cool. As rotten as he can be, I still spoil him. And love him. He's my Sammy... he always will be my Sammy.

He's a video kind of guy... recording movies, filming lego people, writing out scripts, editing films. He's a creative kind of guy... using anything and everything he can as part of his movie, constantly on the look out for good movie ideas. He's a spoiled kind of guy... fighting against showers, not wanting to be told what to do. He's a nerdy kind of guy... being overly dramatic, making 'cool' hand signs, wearing socks with sandals. He's a sensitive kind of guy... crying at the Monsters Inc. movie, hugging me when I'm sad, worrying about his little sister when he's not 100% sure of her whereabouts-- even if it's 3am.

And so today I am sad but happy. Sad remembering the cute, chubby baby brother who is no more, happy in seeing the wonderful person he is starting to become as he grows up.

Happy Birthday Sam!

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T14:42:00.001-05:00

Mother's day is about a very special person in my life... my mama. She is absolutely beautiful. She knows what I need when I need it; she knows what to say to make me feel better; she knows that sometimes words will not help and she just sits with me; she guides me; she teaches me; she loves me. She knows me inside and out, she's my mama.

Mother's day is about another very special person in my life... my grandma. Pushing our strollers, giving us airplane rides, reading us stories, rocking us in her rocking chair, playing with us. Hot chocolate with toast just doesn't taste the same if you're not eating it at Grandma's house. She taught me the words to Mister Bluebird on my Shoulder. She always has the prettiest ornaments on her Christmas tree. And she makes the best rice krispie treats.

She inspired my love for crafts-- knitting, cross stitch, embroidery. She was the one who taught me how to knit. I still remember that hot summer afternoon-- the orange yarn, the blue couch, her patience, her hands showing me the same steps over and over again. She shared in my excitement when I was able to knit an entire row all by myself. Grandma has any knitting needle of any size and she can fix any mistake I make.

Thanksgiving week is spent at her house, a yearly tradition. Alone time with Grandma, such a lucky girl I am during those visits! She was the person who taught me how to make lemon meringue pies and a few years later, I taught her how to make pie crusts from scratch. Together we make a great team.

Mother's day is usually spent reflecting on my mom and all the wonderful things she does for me and is to me. But today, for a change, I'm going to also reflect on my grandma-- a gentle and loving woman who is oh-so-dear to me and always will be.

Happy Mother's day to my mom and my grandma, I love you both so much!

Planning... It's Over-Rated

2010-05-04T20:46:00.005-05:00

Why is it that things rarely go according to plan? Last week I planned out my entire weekend: stay home, clean, do laundry, read a book, make dinner, and just enjoy the feeling of home. Looking forward to the weekend was how I was going to manage to get through the week... then there was a change of plans. After several last minute changes, my ideal weekend became a thing of the past.

Yesterday (Monday) I started thinking about the week and was looking forward to having nowhere to go and nothing in particular to do tomorrow (Wednesday). And then there was yet another last minute change in plans. Lately it seems like everything I plan never happens due to changes in plans.

It happens with dinner... a lot. I say "Oh hey, I'm going to make dinner tonight!" but when the time comes to actually make dinner, I change my plans. I decide spending the afternoon in the kitchen does not sound appealing, eating dinner does not sound appealing, cleaning the kitchen after dinner is over with definitely does not sound appealing. My sister gets very annoyed with this "You always say you're going to make dinner and then you never do. You drive me crazy!!"

Plans and I don't go very well together so I've come to this decision: I'm done with the planning. That way, maybe dinner will actually happen sometime this week. And perhaps, if I don't plan for it, maybe I'll get my ideal weekend.

click 'read more' for recipe

I planned (there's that word again) on making these m&m cookies last week... and then again this past weekend.. but I never got around to it until today. The recipe is the same recipe I use for regular chocolate chip cookies, only I replace half the semi-sweet morsels with m&m's.

M&M Cookies

Ingredients:
2 C. all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
3/4 C. butter, melted
1 C. packed brown sugar
1/2 C. white sugar
1 Tbs. vanilla extract
1 egg
1 egg yolk
1 C. semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 C. m&m's (plus more for putting on top of cookies)

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Sift together the flour, baking soda, and salt; set aside. In a separate bowl, cream together the melted butter, brown sugar, and white sugar until well blended. Beat in the vanilla, egg, and egg yolk until light and creamy. Mix in the sifted ingredients. Stir in the chocolate chips and m&m's by hand. Drop by tablespoon onto cookie sheet (cookies should be 3 inches apart). Take a few extra m&m's and push them into the top of each cookie.
4. Bake 10-15 minutes or until the edges are lightly golden. Transfer to wire racks and cool completely.

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

2010-05-02T18:59:00.001-05:00

Making cookies is a long, time-consuming process. Making the dough, spooning the dough onto the pan, baking the cookies, taking one pan out of the oven and putting another one in, transferring the cookies to a cooling rack, and starting the whole process over again. Often, cookie making takes a few hours. It is a process I try to avoid because I find it so unpleasant.

There are lots of long processes in life other than cookie baking. And I have a hard time with those long processes. I like knowing the outcome of something right away. I don't want to wait and wait and wait for things to change. I get impatient, irritated, and annoyed with things that are time-consuming. But there are so many things in life -important things- that take time, and there's no way to avoid them.

Usually when the waiting process of something is over with, the outcome makes it worth everything you went through before... at least, that's how it was for these cookies. They are absolutely wonderful oatmeal cookies! Crisp on the outside, chewy on the inside, the right combination of chocolate and raisins. This recipe will not disappoint.

click 'read more' for recipe

Basic Oatmeal Cookie (from I Am Baker)

Ingredients:

1 1/2 C. flour

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. salt

2 tsp. cinnamon

1/2 tsp. allspice

2 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla extract

3/4 C. shortening

3/4 C. brown sugar

3/4 C. white sugar

1 1/2 C. oats

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a cookie sheet.

2. In a medium bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and allspice. In a separate large bowl, cream together shortening, brown sugar, and white sugar until fluffy. Add eggs and extract. Combine well.

3. Add flour mixture to the wet ingredients and stir until just combined. Then add oats (at this point, you can also add raisins, chocolate chips, or whatever you'd like. I added semi-sweet chocolate chips, raisins, and white chocolate chips to mine).

4. Drop by tablespoon onto a cookie sheet (you can get about 6 cookies on one cookie sheet). Bake 10-12 minutes.

Chocolate Cake Recipe

2010-04-29T22:06:00.006-05:00

If I had to (had to) find a specific point in time when I fell in love with baking, it would probably be the first time I made a chocolate cake (completely from scratch). It was Sarah's 12th birthday and I decided to make her birthday cake from scratch. It wasn't my first time baking a cake, but it was my first time baking completely from scratch and it was my first time making a birthday cake.

Ingredients like cocoa powder and vanilla extract were foreign to me. Then, I had no idea there was a difference between a hand mixer and a stand mixer (actually, I probably didn't realize there was such a thing as a stand mixer). I didn't know what leveling a cake meant or how to spread the frosting on the cake so the cake wouldn't tear.

I remember completing the cake and feeling so proud of myself. I thought the sprinkles were so perfect around the sides, my piping skills pretty good, and the packaged Happy birthday candies lovely. Now I look at this and don't know how I could have ever given this to my sister for her birthday cake, much less have taken pride in it!

Many things have changed since July 2008. My cake decorating skills I hope are one of those changes. My photography skills hopefully another. Never will I ever allow a family member to have store bought cake for their birthday. I now know the difference between pure vanilla extract and imitation vanilla extract. Then I had no idea where to find recipes, now I have a list of baking blogs and bookmarked recipes on my computer. One thing that hasn't changed though, is my chocolate cake recipe. This recipe has been my first and only, and you're going to have a hard time getting me to ever try another chocolate cake recipe.

(click 'read more' for recipe)

A friend of my sister's made this cake for a party once and kindly shared the recipe with me when she found out I was in need of a chocolate cake recipe. I have never looked for any other recipe. In my opinion, this one is simply the best.

Hershey's "Perfectly Chocolate" Chocolate Cake

Ingredients:
2 C. sugar
1 3/4 C. all-purpose flour
3/4 C. hershey's cocoa powder
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
2 eggs
1 C. milk
1/2 C. vegetable oil
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 C. boiling water

Directions:
1. Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two 9-inch round baking pans.
2. Stir together sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl. Add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla; beat on medium speed of a mixer for two minutes. Stir in boiling water (batter will be thin). Pour batter into prepared pans.
3. Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire rack. Cool completely. Frost with "Perfectly Chocolate" Chocolate Frosting.

"Perfectly Chocolate" Chocolate Frosting

Ingredients:
1 stick butter
2.3 C. Hershey's cocoa powder
3 C. powdered sugar
1/3 C. milk
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions:
1. Melt butter. Stir in cocoa. Alternately add powdered sugar and milk, beating to spreading consistency. Add small extra amount of milk if needed. Stir in vanilla. (Makes about 2 cups of frosting)

Short and Sweet

2010-04-24T22:35:00.002-05:00

Lately, I've been consumed and obsessed with this once fact: my 13 year old sister is 1 inch away from being taller than me. No being much taller than exactly 5 feet, I'm usually one of the shortest people in a group of people. Being tall is something I fantasize about. Not having to stretch on my tippy-toes just so I can barely put away glasses on the top shelf or not needing to use the 3-step ladder in the pantry or no longer jumping jumping jumping so I can put my cake carrier back on top of the refrigerator are things I can only dream about. The reality is this: I'm not getting any taller.

Really, it's silly for me to be so concerned with this. There are a million other problems in the world, me being short is pretty trivial compared to what others are going through. Nonetheless, being self-absorbed and self-pitying, for the majority of the week my thoughts were spent fretting over this so called 'problem' of mine. Foolish, lame, childish, pathetic, and stupid-- I know.

Today I made petit fours for a tea party (There will, at some point, be a separate post about this lovely tea party and my petit making experience). When the friend hosting this party asked if I'd like to bake something, immediately I knew I wanted to make petit fours. What could be cuter than tiny, petite little desserts? I absolutely love mini desserts-- cupcakes, cookies, petit fours, peanut butter cups, cheesecakes, anything miniature. Mini desserts are my favorite kind of desserts!

Actually anything tiny (from baby shoes to sharpies to stuffed animals) I find utterly, completely sweet and adorable. But despite my love for small things, I don't like being small. I tend to see the negative aspects of it; like how it totally sucks to have someone hold something just out of reach and taunt you, or how it's a pain to have to scale the pantry shelves every time you need to reach a cookie cutter, or being mistaken as 3 years younger than what your actual age is.

Maybe, just maybe, I can use my love for tiny, petite desserts to try and see the good in being short. As for the baking cups, aren't they totally adorable? They were a lovely birthday gift from my mama... and yes, they're mini baking cups... and yes, I think they're too pretty to use... and yes, I may end up staring at them and never ever using them.

Honey Oat Bread

2010-04-20T16:20:00.004-05:00

I love breads-- loaves, pizza dough, dinner rolls, anything. The problem is, my from scratch results never taste very good. I mean, sure they taste okay but, when it comes to baking, 'just okay' isn't good enough for me. Ready-made, frozen yeast rolls taste better than my dinner rolls. Pizza crusts turn out too bread-like. Loaves turn out either slightly overdone or slightly underdone. When it comes to breads, I've not had much success.

But I love making bread. The thought of giving up on trying to make a good loaf of bread is sad. Even with all the kneading, waiting for the bread to rise, and the 'just okay' results, there's something about homemade bread that I love. Mixing the first ingredients together, impatiently waiting for the dough to rise, the aroma of baking bread traveling through the house, slicing a warm loaf of bread, all of it is enjoyable. Each step is delightful and comforting.

I used this bread recipe a few weeks ago and was completely ecstatic. The end result was great AND the recipe called for wheat flour (wheat flour has become my latest obsession). It takes a while, but it's totally worth the wait.

(click 'read more' for recipe..)

Honey Oat Bread

Ingredients:
2 C. boiling water
1 C. quick oats
1/2 C. honey
2 Tbs. butter
2 tsp. salt
3 tsp. active dry yeast
1/2 C. warm water
2 C. bread flour
2 C. wheat flour (or as needed)
2 C. all-purpose flour

Directions:
1. In a large bowl, combine boiling water, oats, honey, butter and salt. Let stand for one hour.
2. In a small bowl, dissolve yeast in warm water. Let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes.
3. Combine the bread flour and wheat flour in a separate bowl. Pour the yeast mixture into the oat mixture. Add two cups of the flour mixture, mix well. Stir in the remaining flour 1/2 cup at a time.When the dough has pulled together, turn it out onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth. Add the all-purpose flour as needed. Knead for about 20 minutes or until smooth and elastic. Lightly oil a large bowl, place the dough in the bowl and turn to coat with oil. Cover with a damp cloth and let rise in a warm place for 2 hours.
4. Deflate the dough and turn it out onto a lightly floured surface. Divide the dough into two equal pieces and form into loaves. Place the loaves into two lightly greased 9in.x5in. loaf pans. Cover the loaves with a damp cloth and let rise until doubled in volume, about 45 minutes. (Brush with milk and sprinkle with oats if desired).
5. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Bake 30-40 minutes or until the top is golden brown and the bottom of the loaf sounds hollow when tapped.